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Dear Brown Sugar,
You Can't Make Him Fall in Love
You come across as a person who believes in investing time and
effort into every aspect of your life. But one thing I've learned
is that, no matter how hard you work you can never make another
fall in love with you.
I don't think that your beau does not love you. On the contrary,
I can tell he really does care for you, but is ambivalent about
what he wants out of this. It makes your relationship unpredicatable,
you're sort of in the grey area inbetween friendship and romance
and since it's neither, it may end with nothing having happened
at all.
You want desperately for this to work, and naturally you're upset
at each day being unfulfilled.
All I can tell you is that he knows that you love him, and did
know well before you wrote to him. Granted, he's stubborn and experienced
a rough past year.
He Feels Smothered
But the fact that you're always there, alluding to what could be,
might place him on the defensive and not allow him to think of whether
you're good for him or not. Right now, it seems to me he's investing
all his energy trying to prevent this happening because you're doing
you're best to make it work out. I think he feels smothered.
Be His Friend
Don't call it quits. Be his friend for the time being and in time
you'll see him open up and decide. To prevent this from becoming
a habit I've always set myself a timescale. How long ought to be
dictated by the two of you, but more him, if you really love him.
You mentioned something that's eloquently put, that, "all
of the drama has gotten in the way of us actually getting to know
each other as people". I think this is so true.
Your Past Should Not Dictate Your Future
If you really love him, slow down and hang in there. In time, you'll
know whether there is a future to this relationship. You should
not allow your past to dictate your future (Ahem...why do I feel
like Yoda all of a sudden?...anyway....) really, the fact that your
previous loves did not succeed does not mean this will fail as well.
There's nothing more I can say apart from the fact that a relationship
is a chance event which we cannot control.
Wish you the best of luck.
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