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Dear Char,
Believe What People Tell You
First rule of relationships is this - when the person you are dating
tells you something about themselves, believe it. If a guy tells
you "you're great, but I'm not good enough for you", you
probably think "oh poor guy, he doesn't know how great he is."
WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. Trust HIM. He's not good enough for you.
He Told You He's Hung Up On His Ex
You've known this guy 5 weeks. He's told you right from the hip
"I'm hung up on someone else and I'm waiting for this woman
to come back into my life." Trust HIM. He REALLY is hung up
on someone else.
He's In Love With Someone Else
And that means, no matter how great you are or how great a fit
you two COULD be, he's IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
Let me tell you a little story. Many years ago, I started seeing
a man who was much like this guy is for you - cute, fit, fun, right
priorities in life, good to me. He said to me at the time "I
am still in love with this other woman - who wants nothing to do
with me". We talked it over, agreed we'd keep it light and
just be in it for the laughs.
Months later, I drive up to his house at dusk. And in the glow
of his living room light - he and that girl were (you guessed it)
in a R-rated embrace. He was probably the happiest man alive. And
my heart was broken.
I went to a friend, poured my heart out to her. And she said "but
Bella honey, he TOLD you he was nuts for this woman."
Too right.
If You Hang Out With Him, Keep Your Heart To Yourself
Char, he's nuts for another woman. If you want to keep hanging
out with him - go on. Cute single men are rare enough. Have a blast,
see every show in town. But keep your heart to yourself unless you
want to end up in tears, drinking old Kahlua and listening to Spandau
Ballet with only yourself to blame.
I wish I could wave a magic wand because I know what you wanted
to hear. Don't tell yourself he'll get over them, Char.
Take it for what it is, and then let it be. Good luck.
– Bella
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