Dear Char,

I can understand your frustration. You see this relationship moving far faster and deeper than your boyfriend. He however has given you some very strong clues to how he feels.

He'll Never Let Go of His Soul Mate

He IS still hung up on his ex-girlfriend. In my mind that reads, run for the hills, get out before you get hurt even more. My experience is that if a guy claims to have found his "soul mate" she will, no matter what be part of his thought process, whether he can have her or not. (especially 11 months later)

Are you willing to play second fiddle? We all take something from each of our relationships, that makes us grow and learn. You are within reason to be concerned that he has not yet put all that into perspective.

Get Used To The Ex-Wife

As far as his ex-wife goes, that is someone you are going to have to get
used to hearing about and dealing with. They share children, and therefore share the responsibility of raising those children.

However, the "honey-do list" should not included things above and beyond raising those children. If she needs a toilet fixed or something, she has a boyfriend for that, or can hire a handyman. Those types of things should not fall under his responsibilities as a father to his children.

So, to wrap it up, he probably has gotten over his ex-wife, just has not hung up his tool belt and taken his balls back from the safe. If he truly feels his ex-girlfriend is his "soul mate" she might not be there physically but she will always be there, deep in his subconscious. I think you know the answer to your questions.

Move On

That's right. She needs to cut him loose.

It is time to move on and find a man, who wants to share his life with you; heart, body, mind and soul. If you are not willing to move on, then please, for your sake (and his), take it SLOW. I wish you luck in your decision.

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