Dear Panel,

I've been dating my girlfriend for about a month. She is one of those girls who has a lot of guy friends, and only one or two female friends. I get jealous fairly easily, although up until now it hasn't bothered me at all (and I mean that sincerely) when she's hung out with her guy friends, even including her ex-boyfriend.

I Thought I Trusted Her

I am feeling that jealously starting to rise up now, though, because she is moving in with two of her male friends. The guys are nice, I've met them and hung out with them a little. I feel like I trust her very much, although I guess that can't be completely true if I still have these feelings.

It's just that every time I'm around her and them, I get very quiet. For a while after, I'm reluctant to have much contact with her. I don't turn into an asshole, I'm just not myself--I get very withdrawn.

I'm Curious About This Stereotype

So I guess my question has two parts. First, I'm curious about the girl-who-gets-along-best-with-guys stereotype. I realize that some girls may just deal better with guys, but it seems that some of them, at least, like getting male (and therefore somewhat sexual) attention. My girlfriend has talked about this a little--she said something about guys needing to love, and girls needing to be loved.

The second thing is about my problem, and what I can do to deal with feeling uncomfortable around her and her housemates.

Thanks for your help,

– John

Male, age 23, USA

 

Shaggy, Lani, Jennae, and Noey answer this question.