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Dear I Quit,
Love, by nature, is not a logical feeling. (pardon me while I wax
philosophical here for a moment).
Who can understand why you get butterflies in your stomach, or
why your heart feels like it's going to burst when you feel happy?
Who can understand why the sky seems bluer or the flowers prettier
or the world a brighter place when you are in love? Who can explain
why all those annoying little habits seem so cute when you fall
in love?
Who can explain faith? You can ask a tremendous amount of people
all over the world if they have faith that there is a god or life
after death, and most (not all, granted) will tell you that they
believe there is. Why? On Faith alone.
Love is Faith
To me, believing in love is very much a faith of its own. It's
not really a tangible thing, you can't reach out and grab it...but
you CAN see it.
When you see a couple in love, you can almost feel their connection.
When you see a mother and a child, you can almost touch the thread
that brings them together. Can you think of a single person (could
be anyone, doesn't have to be a romantic love) in your life that
you love? If you can think of just ONE person that you honestly
love, then you are most definitely "cut out for this love thing."
You Attract What You Project
Romantic love is an enigma - it's chemistry of the body, mind and
soul. And I am also a firm believer that connecting to someone on
those levels requires a tremendous amount of self awareness. In
a perfect world, everyone would be happy, secure, healthy and have
a strong belief in themselves.
But this isn't a perfect world, and people have their own set of
insecurities, beliefs about themselves that they have learned over
time. And honestly, I believe that people draw to them someone who
forces them to deal with their own insecurities.
You search for someone who will connect and perhaps compliment
you in body, mind and soul...and often times when people have issues
within themselves, they will search out someone to "fix"
those parts of them.
What Do You Want?
My question to you is: What are you trying to fix within yourself
by drawing people who are incapable of giving you a complete relationship?
If you already believe that you are not cut out for this "love
thing" or that you will never have a serious relationship,
then by that belief alone, you will draw people to you who reinforce
that belief.
You've Already Given Up
Perhaps it isn't a matter of deciding NOW that you should give
up on relationships, perhaps you already have. Someone who comes
to the conclusion that it's time to give up on relationships most
likely already has given up on them...and that will come across
when you meet someone.
Change Your Mindset
If you walk into a relationship with that mindset, that it won't
work, then it won't. Because you won't allow it to. If a woman walks
into a relationship with the mindset that the man in her life will
control her, he will. Simply because she will allow him to. Have
you defined your needs?
Perhaps to draw something more, you should define what you truly
need and want from someone. You said that you were solitary person,
you don't believe in marriage and children, and you don't feel lonely
by yourself.
What Do You Want In a Partner?
When you are considering a relationship, what exactly are you looking
for? Have you defined what you want out of a relationship? If marriage
and children are not important to you, what is? Companionship? Laughter?
Sex? A travel partner? Rather than giving up on the idea of love,
try defining it a little more solidly.
Get Real With Yourself
You have be brutally honest with yourself. Do you WANT a serious
relationship? Do you WANT to be in love with someone? Just admitting
that to yourself doesn't mean you are suddenly desperate for love,
but it does open you up to a lot of possibilites. As long as you
believe you are better off alone, you'll be alone.
– Jeannie
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