Dear Panel,
I never thought I'd ever get to this stage, but here
I am.
I'm in my late 30's and never had even the most simple
contact with the opposite sex.
I have always been very careful and reserved around
the opposite sex. I am just too
used to rejection. It's almost as if women see me as
a joke. I used to kid myself with thoughts like 'it's
worth the wait till you meet the right person'. I just
don't see this happening.
I Want Mutual Attraction and Shared
Interest
I don't think I have unrealistic expectations.
All I ever wanted was a relationship where there was
mutual atraction and shared interest. That's obviously
unattainable for me.
All the work I have ever done has been in a male dominated
environment, this is still the case.
I studied at an all male school which
was strictly Catholic and seemed to be stuck in the
19th century. Hence, when most people were being prepared
for the future, I was being prepared for a past. Maybe
that's why I'm where I am and where I'll stay.
I See Myself As A Joke
I find it increasingly difficult to take
myself seriously. I see my life as a bit of a joke.
I'm starting to get the feeling that other people share
this opinion.
I suppose you'll tell me I should take
a risk once a while. The last time I did that , the
lady I was interested in had the decency to say 'you
couldn't keep up with me'. Yeah, that really boosted
my self confidence.
I have sought professional help. It has
helped me do my job better, but it's made no difference
to my social life whatsoever.
I Find It Difficult to Go Out
I am at the stage now where it looks like
I'll have to cope with these really bad feelings of
loneliness somehow. I just find it increasingly difficult
to go out at all. I find it a lot easier to say 'no'
than to risk another night of humiliation.
I have a good job so it's too early to think about 'ending
it all'. The job is the only thing that keeps me going.
Now I'm fearful. Once I'm retired and
alone, what will keep me going then? I won't have children
or family. Will I work hard all my life just to 'end
it all' once I'm supposed to be 'reaping the rewards'
of that work? What a waste of effort!
I feel like a freak. Maybe that's what
I am...What do I do?
Male, age 37, Australia
Mel,
Karrie,
Kalia,
Sasha,
and Charlie
answer this question.
