Dear Karma,

My goodness gracious, what a position you are in. This is certainly something that needs answering in your life.

Did You Ever Meet In Person?

Let me start by saying, you never made it clear if you and Missy had actually met, so there is some question there about your claim to love her. That being said, if you had corresponded with her as much as you say, she is at the least a good friend.

Resolution Is Important

I agree. He should try to find out what really happened.

The death of good friend can hit a person hard, and you have every right to know the truth about what happened. Resolution is a key ingredient to overcoming grief and getting on with your life. Knowing what happened is important.

You May Have To Take Their Word

From your letter, it seems at though you don't trust her brother and this friend of hers. I can't say for sure that you don't, but that's what it comes across as. That being the case, you don't believe them when they say that she has died. You need your own proof. But in this case, you may have to take them at the their word. Even a person who sounds as lucky as Missy does can run into a fatal misfortune.

You say yourself that communication in her part of the world is spotty and unreliable. I am sad to say that, while in the western world a tragedy such as several people being killed with a grenade or such device would glean much media attention, there are parts of our world where such a thing is covered up.

Either way, he has still suffered a loss.

You are, in all of this, hoping for a sign that she is alive or dead. I can understand that you want to know; she was a good friend at least to you. You would like to mourn if she dead, and celebrate if she is alive.

Contact Lucky & Mike

Do you contact Lucky and Mike? That is your decision. Perhaps they told you that she was dead to save you the heartbreak of not knowing. Perhaps they told you the truth. There is nothing wrong with contacting them to ask about
the article, if they had read it, if they know what or who it is about.

Move On

However, whether she is dead or alive, YOU must keep on living. It's hard to go on not knowing, but that it the way that it has to be for now. You are still alive. Honor Missy, living or dead, by continue to thrive and learn. Don't completely abandon the hope that she is still live, that there was something misreported, but don't let this hunt for her consume you.

See A Counselor

If you are having trouble getting on with life, see a counselor, talk to someone about what's happened.
Getting on with life after a death is not easy. Getting on with life when you don't even know what's happened is even harder. But it do it. Either way, that will do much to honor the memory or reality of her.

Best of luck,

– Jennae