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Dear Untrusting,
I have been in very similar situation as you. I was the same age
and he was older, and divorced, no kids, and my mother just hated
him and what she claims he represented. Anyway, you don't need or
want to hear all the details.
Trust Is The Basis For Any Relationship
My view on this is that if you have no trust, you have no solid
basis for building a relationship. You talk about losing your parents
trust and all your privileges, but what has he given up for you?
You talk about sneaking to see him and lying to be with him, but
you never mention what he has done to make it work.
If he cared for you the way you care for him, then he would have
been a man about it and approached your parents to work a compromise.
I can not say if it would have worked but as a parent, if a boy/man
came to me and made his case on his reform and his feelings for
my daughter, I would be willing to give him a second try.
As far as the he said, she said, it boils back to trust. People
can not control who there are attracted too, only how they act upon
those feelings. Actions always speak louder than words, I hate to
say it but it really is true.
You Did Not Fight In Vain
If you believed in your feelings, then you did not fight in vain,
we can not make someone love us, they just do. Nothing is ever in
vain, as we grow and learn from every experience, some more than
others.
Talk To Your Man and Your Parents
I would sit down and talk with your parents and tell them your
feelings and ask for one opportunity to sit down with this guy and
see if he feels the same way. If he says he does then he should
be willing to talk with your parents. Make a plan to present to
them. Work out a slow adjustment period and compromise. Present
a mature and responsible adult for them to trust again.
 Give
Him A Second Chance
Normally, I would just say, once a cheater always a cheater, but
you are both so young, and have so much more to experience. Being
young means experimenting, and not always making the correct choices.
Weigh The Pros And Cons
I get the feeling from your question, that you could not just walk
away with out knowing where he stands. Love is always had to walk
away from. So weigh the pros and cons and talk to your parents.
I wish you good luck and if things do not work out, you will heal
and be that much wiser.
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