Dear Sigh,

What should you do? Talk to him about the motivations and yes, be jealous!

If he says you are all these things to him, why is he going down this road? This issue may seem innocuous but it has the potential to be VERY bad for both of you.

Sexual Fantasies Are Healthy

I agree. And most people have racy fantasies.

It is totally good and healthy to enjoy escapist sexual fantasies, preferably with your significant other.

Okay, he says he loves strong, sophisticated women like you. Great, but obviously he enjoys some gutter- wallowing. Again, there's nothing evil about good, lusty sex between two consenting (and, okay the Southern Baptist in me interjects, married) adults.

Child Porn Is A Felony Offense

But child pornography in no way falls under that umbrella. It falls under felony offense. Is it the age thing that bothers you most?

Maybe You Can Share A Fantasy

Ask him if there are fantasies the two of you can engage in that would divert his need to see the barely legal sites. Get him to talk about what motivates those fantasies. He can't leave something this complicated at "oh, they're only fantasies, I'd never act on them."

Definitely do not let yourself believe anything is wrong with your appearance because he's downloading these images. If you feel something is really wrong here, don't let it slide.

Porn Is For Lonely Guys

Why is all this potentially bad? Pornography, despite all the free speech types who talk about how it's everyone's right to view and make pornography, isn't about artistic expression or entertainment. Porn is designed to make lonely guys forget their loneliness for a few hours. End of freakin' story.

Regular porn viewers need more extreme and shocking images to get off over time depending on what their fantasy of choice is. This is something to be very concerned about given the nature of the images he is viewing.

Don't End It

You're nuts. Can you imagine this guy hanging around his future daughter and her friends?

Sigh, this certainly isn't anything to end a relationship over because if what you say is true, you may very well be meant for a lifetime. However, make him talk about his fantasies and motivations behind Internet porn viewing.

He Needs Counseling

If he's accessing pornography of girls under legal age, this is legally AND morally wrong, and your man needs counseling for a sexual hang-up before he ends up in legal trouble.

Please keep that option in mind and don't be afraid to push it because that's what a best friend would do. I wish you the best of luck and hope this point of view helps.

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