Dear Panel,
I have been with my boyfriend for almost
9 months now, and though it has taken me a long time
to trust him I actually do.
But recently we got into a conversation
about masturbation and I asked him if he masturbated
to pornography (I have asked him this about 5 times
in the past and he said he didn't).
He Admitted To Using Porn
He replied this time that he had 'once
or twice' since we'd been together. I was hurt because
he lied to me and when I asked him about it he said
it wasn't any of my business whether he did or not.
He said he told me this time because
he thought if he let me know that he did, I would trust
him and I am thankful this time he told me the truth.
The only problem is it still bothers me he uses it.
We Don't Have Sex As Much As We Used
To
I don't think I would be half as bothered
if he had sex with me as much as he used to. We spoke
about it and he said the only reason he uses it occasionally
is because they are visual images to help him get off
- I don't understand why he can't think of us. He told
me he doesn't fantasize over these girls and wouldn't
want me to look like them, yet why does he still want
to look at them?
I'm Confused
I have read through the questions on
here to do with porn already, and I am confused. Half
of me just wants to accept he'll use it if I am not
around (he said he uses it if he's horny and I am not
there) and just try to accept he apparently only sees
them as images of breasts etc.
But the other half still feels offended
he needs to look at these images instead of just waiting
to have sex with me. I masturbate myself but I never
even feel attracted to use porn. I would enjoy using
it together as a couple though as I believe the it would
be the situation turning us both on, and not the mags,
which is another reason I am confused. I accept the
girls in these mags are desirable, being bisexual I
find them attractive. I would only want to use them
with him though, never behind his back.
Should I just let him get on with it when
I am not around to please him and accept he wants me
in reality, or should I question him again? I know he
loves me to pieces, but I still feel I am not satisfying
him and he is not telling me. Help!
Female, age 18, UK
Jimmy,
Sarge,
Bob,
Shaggy,
and Indigo
answer this question.
