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Dear Girl on Rebound,
He's Manipulative
This guy comes across as a little manipulative and knows that you
like him more than he cares about you. That does not mean that he
has no feelings towards you.
But being much older and having the knowledge that you like him
more, give him a sense of superiority in this relationship, and
chances are he will dictate the direction of this relationship
in the future, if it overcomes this current hiccup.
I'd rather concentrate this letter on you. I know you want us to
tell you how you should get back on track with him: but I don't
know whether that would be best for you.
You come across as a young woman who is not that confident about
herself, and it seems like he's the one who has always told you
what to do, you've danced to his tune so to speak.
Do You Want Him Or Need Him?
This may be untrue, I don't know, but the least I ask of you is
to look at yourself and soulsearch. Do you want this guy beaus at
heart you love him? Or do you want him because you're feeling low
and NEED him, because you don't feel comfortable about yourself?
That's a question you need to ask and answer for yourself, your
happiness in the future depends on it.
Put Your Feelings In A Letter
If you really love him, then I'd suggest you write him a letter,
that way he would not be rushed; he can look it over in his own
time and interpret it easier, than if you approach him over the
phone or face to face.
I'd suggest you tell him that people are not perfect and that we
all gloss over certain aspects of our lives, and that two people
who care about each other, tend to know this and ignore it.
It All Depends On What You Lied About
But this depends on what it is that you lied about. If its innocuous,
that's okay, but it really depends on what you denied. Perhaps a
close mutual friend whom you trust could decide how pertinent
this lie is, and tell you. Your letter really depends on what you
lied about.
After that? You need to leave him alone to decide. There is no
way you could convince him that you love him, love needs to be reciprocated,
freely.
Having said all this, I really think you're in a manipulative relationship,
and chances are you'll venture into another manipulative romance
if you're not careful.
You Need Him
The Dalai Lama said that the best relationship is when two
people's love for each other exceeds their need for each other.
I think you need him more than you love him. I think you need to
discover your self confidence and ask yourself what it is that YOU
want from life. Think about it, the saddest life would be to live
for another person.
I really don't know you and I don't mean to be pontificating about
how you should live your life according to MY principles. What I
want you to do is, ask yourself what YOUR principles are and live
by them.
You're 20, and you have the entire world to look forward to. Why
don't you paint the future on your terms?
Take Care,
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