Dear Lucia,

So you and this guy were great friends for a long time and it evolved into a relationship. He's not terribly sexual with you, but we can possibly chalk that up to his dating/sexual history, or lack thereof.

Maybe, Just Maybe, He IS Gay

So perhaps that's why he doesn't jump your bones? Maybe he's getting the hang of it. Maybe he's feeling things out. Maybe he's not attracted to you sexually. Or maybe, just maybe, he's GAY? I feel like I just got broadsided by a Mac Truck! Maybe you do too!

Ok. He has confided in you that he thinks about other guys, but he's not interested in pursuing a male partner. OK.

True. 17 is a confusing age.

Maybe he's just super comfortable talking about this with you and he is naturally just feeling out his sexuality. It happens, especially at your ages.

But your concern is that he is really attracted to guys and might act on it. Being bisexual for almost 10 years now, I will tell you this: In your spot, "bisexual" and "gay" might as well be the same thing.

Do You Want To Share Him?

Yes, if he was hypothetically bisexual, he would still share attraction with women. But do you really want a guy who is going to share his attraction with ANYONE but you? Male? Female? Whatever?

If you are comfortable with this, then stay in a relationship with him and see where it goes. It might be nothing, OR it might be an indicator that he is bisexual or possibly gay.

Don't Force Him To Talk

No. She should talk to him, they're best friends.

I wouldn't push the issue with him. Let him be a big boy and figure out his own life. But I also wouldn't go picking out rings, dresses and cakes just yet. In a way, it's great that you started out as best friends because that is how it might end up, and you should think about that.

Don't Waste Too Much Time On Him

Wait! This IS worth discussing.

He sounds like a good guy, but I wouldn't waste a ton of time on someone that I wasn't sure about, whether its their sexuality, their integrity, etc.

Renew Your Friendship

If you don't want to stick it out with him through what might be a discovery process, I would recommend that you renew your earlier friendship with him. Or you can just run like the dickens entirely!

Either way, look out for yourself! Good luck!

–