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Dear Loved Up,
Yours is not an easy question. I really hope you can understand
what shall follow because 16 for me was a difficult age. I thought
I knew everything, but at heart knew little about the subtleties
of life and the messages my heart and mind would give me. Instinct
at 16 is subjective, but I can safely say that most of us were naive.
My answer is open ended and depends on what you think. If you love
him, then it does not mean that you should consummate your relationship
to prove you love him.
Does It Feel Right?
It should be natural. Does this feel natural, like you want to
do this, rather than feeling pressured, or fearing that you may
lose him if you don't?
From your letter, your boyfriend comes across as a decent guy,
so it need not be any pressure from his part, it could be you all
together. It could be pressure from your friends.
You Are Uncertain
The fact that you've written to us shows that you are uncertain.
There are no guarantees that this relationship will last whether
you make love to him or not.
 You
Should Wait
I 'd ask you to wait. Your relationship is just two months old.
Why don't you wait for a while until you are ready? You'll know
you are ready when you feel it is the right thing to do. When at
heart, you know its the right thing to do.
This is not an easy thing to endure, I've been there and felt really
confused about it, because I too was in love with an amazing girl.
But my worries were more about our different cultures and whether
it was the right thing to do when the future of our relationship
was uncertain.
In retrospect, I wish I did not worry so much and enjoyed the other
things in life (and the relationship) at the time.
First love is a very very special thing. It captures you in such
a way that others simply pale in comparison.
Wait Until It Feels Right
Make love to him when you FEEL this is the right thing to do and
that you KNOW that it's the right time.
Take Care,
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