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Dear Hopelessly In Love,
At first I thought I had a case of commitment-phobia on my
hands here, but a couple key assertions you made tipped me
off to the much simpler issue in all this: he's not ready
for marriage.
Four years long-distance virtually means that you've known
each other intimately for about one. Sorry to be blunt, but
that's the truth.
Distance Limits Your Relationship
When you're in a long-distance relationship, it's impossible
to be anywhere near as in-tune with your partner's life and
needs as you are when you're together a significant portion
of the time. I've been in the long distance relationship before,
and it's extremely difficult to grow as a couple during the
whole time. Extended visits are the only thing that give you
a taste of what life with this person would be like.
You're Unsure of His Feelings For You
Another immediate red flag for me popped up when you said
you're "madly in love with him" and you "believe
he feels the same way" about you.
You mean you don't know? Five years in any kind of personal
relationship is a long time to go without being sure of the
other person's feelings for you.
 Don't
Rush Into Marriage
The worst possible thing you could do is push him into getting
married. Is marriage that important to you that you would
risk having your boyfriend resent you for pushing him into
it? That's no marriage anyone should look for.
Get To Know Him Better
Spend time with him and enjoy it in every form. If and when
he's interested in a wedding, he'll approach you to talk about
it together.
You're only 22. Get to know your boyfriend better before
rushing into marriage.
Good luck,
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