Dear Confused,

At the heart of every successful relationship lies three things: communication, communication, and last but not least: communication. Without this key element, it doesn't matter one bit how "ready" you may or may not be. Your relationship is doomed to failure.

There's No Communication

Mike's alleged dishonesty about this foreign wedding represents one example of not just poor communication, but frankly nonexistent communication.

He's Being Dishonest

He's prepared to fly to a foreign country, enter into a shady, but legal partnership with a woman he's never met in exchange for money, and Mike, after 9 months, doesn't feel like he owes it to you to at least run it by you? What kind of man is that? Not only is he disrespectful, but he's dishonest!

Go On Like Nothing Happened?

That said, don't get any ideas that you're off the hook. You're only compounding the problem by holding back. You have received extremely troubling information that strikes at the vitality and viability of your relationship with Mike. And you're prepared to continue on like nothing ever happened?!

That's a pretty big albatross to have hanging around your neck. Did you ever consider the fact that, looking ahead to the long term, his marriage to this barely-legal alien would, due to polygamy laws, strike marriage for you two right off the menu?

Break It Off, Or Confront Him

As far as I see it, you have but two options, and just pretending like you don't know is not one of them. Either you break it off with him right here and right now, or you confront him about what you’ve heard.

Your Friend Cannot Expect Silence

I understand that confronting him is complicated by the fact that in doing so, you would be breaking a vow of silence. But honestly, what kind of friend would put you in a situation of dire distress, and then place upon you a restriction of absolute silence that traps you in a hurtful and frustrating situation?

Talk To Mike

He should talk to Mike, but just hint around at his future plans.

I suggest that you talk with Mike about what you’ve heard. You don’t have to name your source, because who you heard it from is far less of an issue than what you’ve heard.

In fact, to me, this whole thing sounds fake to me.

I know it will make for an extremely unpleasant conversation, but given your options, it would be a real shame for you to end the relationship before you ever confront him to find out if there is even any truth to this allegation.

If the news you heard is actually true, I would make it a point to find out if and when he was ever planning on sharing this with you. He would have to have a pretty good excuse, however, to justify his dubious errand.

– Shaggy