|
Hi Jellybean,
This is why they include the words, "for better or worse,
in sickness or in health" as part of the wedding vows. When
you choose a life partner, you are committing yourself to being
with that person, loving them, caring for them, no matter what.
I know, easier said than done. But, a lifetime is a long time and
a lot of things can happen.
Whoever knows what the future will bring? Any person can get a
debilitating disease or be involved in an accident that may change
them physically or mentally from the person that we first loved
and married. We have two choices. Either we love them enough to
deal with what comes along or we don't. If we do, we find the strength
somewhere.
Can You Love and Accept Him?
You know of an existing condition that your partner has that is
giving you second thoughts about what a relationship with this person
may hold. You may "think" that you love this person, but
to truly love someone, you must accept them with whatever preexisting
conditions they bring to the relationship.
You are also accepting that whatever may happen to them in the
future, you will accept it and deal with it. If you can't do that,
a long-term relationship with this person is out of the question
for you.
Everyone Has Baggage
Remember, we all bring baggage into a relationship. I know very
little about manic depression other than articles I've read. I know
that it is controllable with medication. In fact, today, manic depressives
are living normal lives.
Whether this disease can be passed on to other generations, I do
not know. But, everyone, no matter who we are are predisposed to
something. Like something that our mothers, fathers, grandmothers,
grandfathers had. It's called Life and Life is a crap shoot.
Can you Commit No Matter What?
What it comes right down to is this. Can you learn to love a person
who is a manic depressive ... stand by them ... commit yourself
to caring for them and about them no matter what?
If you can, then I encourage you to take this relationship farther.
If, in fact, you are going to be totally consumed with what may
or may not happen in the future or with how it will effect other
people, I'd say find another relationship with someone else.
Life Has No Guarantees
If you can, look at this from a different point of view. If something
should happen to you that would change you physically or mentally,
would you want your partner to hightail and run?
There are no guarantees in life.
Learn About The Disease
What you have here is an opportunity. An opportunity to learn about
this disease and how to live with someone who has it. No surprises
in the future. The future is now.
Wouldn't we all love to see into the future to find out if we will
be able to deal with whatever may come along that may effect our
relationship with our loved ones? Wouldn't that be great?
Unfortunately, there will be many more things that will come along
for you both that you will either have to deal with together or
that will drive you apart, if you let them.
What it boils down to is this. Are you willing to take someone
for "better" or "worse"? Don't give up a wonderful
relationship out of fear of what "might" happen. If you
really care for him, learn what you can, and be supportive. Take
each day as it comes.
–
|
