Hey Susie,

Let me get this straight...you spent seven years treating your guy like dirt, you've been compulsively paranoid and you beat him up? I have to say, I'm glad you are seeking professional help.

There's Is Always A Chance

Your question asked, is there ANY chance to learn to live with each other
again. I'm starring at the computer, shaking my head no, however, finding
myself typing "yes." There's always a chance but you have to be willing to
completely change and it will take a lot of hard work.

Let Yourself Go

Here's my advice on what to do. It's an behavioral activity that will help to rechannel your negative energies. Susie, you need to take a break from your old self. The hardness, ugliness, jealousy, anger - all of it, let it go.

A Positive Exercise

First of all, take a piece of plain white paper and write down all of the negative areas in your life. Then tear it up into little pieces and throw it into the garbage. Secondly, take a new sheet of paper, title it "Susie's Treasure Sheet" and write down your already existing good qualities AND the qualities you would like to develop.

Grab a cup of coffee and really think about it. Feel free to build on this with examples, pictures, goals, anything that represents positive, uplifting qualities that you want to emulate.

Perhaps qualities such as honesty, trustworthiness, happiness, friendliness, integrity are areas you should pursue. Relationships can be healthy and happy but it takes work. EVERY time you act, you are going to have to ask yourself, is this a quality on my Treasure Sheet? Force yourself to stop and rethink the behavior if it's not.

Provide Stability For You And Your Son

You're right. Admitting your faults is the first step toward making amends.

Look, because you admit your faults and are in counseling there is a small chance for a SUCCESSFUL relationship.

But you need to be able provide a stable, healthy environment for yourself and that son of yours before being able to live with a man harmoniously. Your son is affected by the negative energy. I'm glad you are taking steps to change now before he gets any older.

Whatever your future holds, build your partner up. Say nice things to him, love him, and be kind. Damage has been done but it sounds like he loves you.

Stick with the counseling and remember to treasure your Treasure Sheet!

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