Dear Panel,
I am one of those nice guys you hear about!
We're Both Depressed
I have mild depression for which I seek
past regression therapy for. I am 21-year-old and from
England and my current girlfriend of 7 months is my
first ever relationship. She is also 21 and we have
been friends for 3 years ish, though never close. She
has a past of sexual abuse and is suicidal and very
depressed.
She Was Sexually Abused
We've been going out 7 months, it was
originally a friend asking out a friend crisis that
eventually paid off. But that was about 4/5 months before
we start going out. During that time I learned she was
being sexually abused by her then boss. She said she
never said "no" though and thought she never
had a case for rape.
I tried to cover up my feelings and tried
to just be there for her...that was my technique for
quite a while.
I Lost My Virginity To Her
Two months after we started going out
we then started to have sex. I was a virgin and she
was not. She never talks about past partners or anything
and because she's really negative about them. I assume
they ended badly.
We Don't Have Sex Anymore
We had sex 5 times in 7 months, in the
back of a row of shops where the trash bins are stored.
I hate it! So now, we don't have sex and haven't for
2 months. I miss it though.
I Can't Communicate With Her
Plus I just cannot talk to her about my
feelings on anything, due to my own issues I can't identify
some at times either. She wants us to be able to argue
too, which I just can't.
We express our love for each other via
words yet sometimes I don't feel it from her. But she
has stressed a lot of times that she does.
Right now she's busy in her new job, we
never talk about the past, sex life is non existent.
We live with our parents, we're both stressing and sometimes
we're great together yet I have never felt fully and
wonderfully happy.
She's content to not even try to be either!
What the heck should I do? I have no experience in this
stuff!
Male, age 21, London UK
Jen,
Diva,
and Roopz
answer this question.
