Hi Joanie,

It's All About Respect

Many successful relationships have been built around different political or
religious beliefs. It all boils down to "respect". Are you willing to respect and accept your boyfriend's political beliefs, as part of who he is?

In turn, is he willing to respect and accept yours, as part of who you are? You've heard the expression, "I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect your right to hold that opinion"? That's what it boils down to.

Can you "agree to disagree" on certain issues? Or, are your beliefs so strong that you can't possibly have someone around you who doesn't believe in them as strongly as you do. If this is the case, move on.

Remember, that you both were attracted to each other in the first place, despite your political beliefs. If you really care for each other, why should your political beliefs negatively effect your relationship later. No one said that once you marry someone, you have to agree on everything or accept the politics of your spouse.

You Respect Him

Huh? I don't think she respects his views at all.

It appears that you both are well aware of your differences in political opinions and have accepted that. And, up until this point in your relationship, you have "agreed to disagree" and keep those areas where you do not agree off the table for discussion (or argument). This is a wise and very mature decision. And, this is what I mean by respect.

If both of you believe strongly in certain issues, no amount of discussion is going to change that. But, if you can agree that these certain areas remain "taboo" or areas not open for discussion, there is no reason why your relationship can't survive and flourish.

Give The Best Of Both To Your Kids

If you are worrying about the future (and raising children), many couples who are of differing political or religious beliefs, instill the best values of both in their children and then allow them to decide for themselves, which way they want to go, when they are old enough to do so. And, it has worked out just fine. Like everything else in a relationship, it all boils down to give and take or compromise.

When one person is "considering" another person as a life partner, the tendency is to look for all of the areas in which there is harmony or those things which you have in common. But, you don't have to agree on "everything" or have "everything" in common. What a bore that would be.

You're wrong. They won't bond or feel supported.

Instead of both of you looking at the world from the exact same perspective, you are looking at it from two different perspectives. And, who knows? Seeing issues from two distinct sides gives you a more well-rounded picture of the situation ... a better place to be for making a mature decision for action.

Don't fret the differences. Consider yourself fortunate that you bring more to your relationship than commonalties. Remember, it's these same "differences" that made you the individuals you are. And it's these individuals that you each fell in love with.

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