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Dear Brast,
I think you know that what you have done is extremely thoughtless,
and stupid. You say that you do not want to lose Mary, but I think
you also know that you already have.
If your relationship was suffering to the point where you began
to take interest in Caitlin, then you should have done one
of two right things:
- Break up with Mary and find someone else you could connect
with.
- Work things out with Mary, by means of counseling if necessary.
However, you decided to take option 3 - Cheat on your girlfriend
thereby forfeiting any future you may have as a couple, causing
hurt, and inflicting guilt on yourself. Not very clever, was it?
You Should Have Experimented With Your Girlfriend
I also doubt your motives very much. If you wanted to learn about
females and what turns them on in regards to sex, then a nice gesture
would have been to do this with Mary, your girlfriend, in a non-pressuring
way.
This way you could have helped to develop communications between
the pair of you whilst developing your relationship and learning
together. At 16, you are certainly in no rush to become any sex
god, so really you shouldn't have even been looking at Caitlin because
she was kinky!
 You
Don't Have To Worry About Virginity Anymore
And, to answer your question for you: you had sex with Caitlin,
therefore you are no longer a virgin.
Tell Her
I suggest you tell Mary what you have done. From the sounds of
it, she hasn't deserved any of this, and you need to make sure
she knows it. I know that should my boyfriend cheat on me, I would
largely blame myself - for not giving him enough, for driving him
away, and so on.
It's Not Her Fault
You have punished Mary enough by doing this to her. At least make
sure she knows the reason why is because you are greedy and couldn't
control yourself. You know that you will probably lose her. All
I can say is good luck to the girl and I hope next time she meets
a guy who isn't so eager to jump someone else.
I know I am being harsh, but can you blame me? What did your
loving, sweet girlfriend do to deserve this treatment? How would
you feel if you were in her situation? As I said before - you know
the answers, and you know I am right. Oh, one more thing: Take "typically
loyal" off your profile.
As a final note, I want to wish you luck for your future.
I hope that you manage to reflect on this and realize that cheating
won't get you anything out of life except cheap sex, guilt and misery.
Maybe one day you will forgive yourself for throwing away a relationship
which may have otherwise been perfect.
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