Dear Asok,

You Should NOT Act On These Feelings

Whatever you do, please please please don't ever act on this fantasy. It's wrong, and I know that that is why you are asking about it.

It Is About Power

Rape is about power. It has to do with some men's (or women's, though extremely rare) desire to be constantly and always in control of everything.

They need to show themselves that they are more powerful than the other sex. It's the power of getting what you want when you want it no matter what anyone around says.

Fantasies Are Harmless

Fantasizing, I think, is different. You are not harming anyone in this. You are thinking about it, and until we have thought police, you are harming no one. Never ever, as I said, act on it.

The fact that you are a disgusted and ashamed by it shows that you know it's wrong, and probably won't act on it.

Keep in mind that most people at some point in their life fantasize about something that falls under the category of illegal. Example, being so angry as to want to kill someone. As long as it is not acted upon, and the person realizes that it is wrong to do so, I see no harm done.

Doing good deeds won't satisfy the curiosity. He should find a girl who will have rough sex with him.

If you're like me and have a wicked temper that daily plots to throw annoying people out 9th floor windows, do what I do: good deeds. Do something that you feel redeems you from those thoughts.

Everyone Has Wicked Thoughts

There are few people who have not had a wicked thought of doing something illegal. I'm not saying that wicked thoughts are good. Wicked thoughts make life very difficult to go through life. It makes your life dark and brooding, and people make you miserable just by walking by and being nice to you.

I agree. He may be able to alleviate them by getting rid of stress.

Alleviating them is the way to go, or finding away to accept that they are a part of you and not act on them.

My suggestion is, as it is with most people, go and speak to a therapist if you are truly disturbed by this and find that you can't handle it on your own.

See A Specialist In Sexual Dysfunction

Find one who specializes in sex and sexual dysfunction. They will be able to help you with this. They will help you be able to deal with the thoughts and everything that goes along with them. Perhaps even help you find out what it is about that power that attracts you so much.

Make SURE that they are specialists; I have heard stories of people who talked to the wrong person and instead of getting the help they needed, they wound up in jail.

Please, go lightly, go carefully, and do no harm to your fellow humans.

– Jennae