Dear Laura,

Right, you do like this guy enough to contact us, so let's give 'Jon' a fair shot. You would not have been able to grow a two year friendship if you didn't like him. And you really miss him when he's not around.

Trouble is, he seems a little quieter than you'd hoped and he's not acting like the Knight in Shining Armour you wanted. It's starting to annoy you that he's not being more assertive and taking charge with date venues.

Tell Your Parents About Your Internet Dates

Top marks for safety girl! It's great that you met him with your friends, keep it up. You don't mention how old he is. He has offered to have your parents along, but test this out just once. It's best to 'fess up to your parents that you have met Jon (stress WITH your friends, so they know you've tried to be responsible) than to keep it secret and risk having to lie.

He's Scared, Tell Him What you Want

Regarding Jon's indecisiveness, maybe he's scared to make any wrong decision and wants to make you happy by letting you choose where to go. It puts pressure on you though and it's unfair to expect you to decide each time.

Be careful not to criticize him or he could retreat a little further into his shell. Tell him you absolutely love a guy who takes the initiative and sweeps a girl off her feet. Hint that you love to relax and let someone take charge for once and if he does, THEN it may just begin to feel like the fantasy!

Can you put your finger on what was exciting about him online? Is there any way you can introduce that into 'real life'? What did you two chat about online - only romantic, slushy stuff?

If it was, then there may be little else other than sweet nothings to whisper when you see him in the flesh. But I imagine you both have a good idea of each other's real personalities because it's hard to act as someone you're not for 2 whole years. The good side is after this time, you'll have a good idea what he likes to do in his spare time. These can be good pointers for date ideas.

Online Communication Is Anonymous

So why does he seem so different face to face than online? Online contact can be anonymous, we can reinvent ourselves. Because you want to like someone, you may have imagined him to if your idea of the 'perfect' man.

Did you know though, that body language accounts for over 75% of overall communication with someone? (Gael Lindenfield, well-known author). So online, you've missed out on Jon's facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures etc., all of which can convey emotions.

If they can't talk in person, what's the point?

It may be worth bearing in mind that you are both ordinarily shy and this might not make for the greatest of relationships. But to give it a fair go, try doing something together that won't put pressure on either of you to make constant conversation.

Get To Know Each Other Better In Real Life

Try something instead that gives you both a chance to show another side of you and get to know each other more. (This side does exist in both of you; remember you said you could be spontaneous? And he has been exciting online.)

For instance, sport is perfect - do either of you like e.g. playing baseball? Running about will force you to relax with each other and if you can mix this with inviting friends again, this keeps you safe and you'll have common ground to chat about after the game!

From the way you talk about your feelings, it seems like both of you have little experience with love. There's no one book anywhere that will tell you everything about the subject, and love is so confusing and important to everyone that it still baffles most adults well into our twilight years.

You aren't expected to know if it's love if it hasn't happened to you before. Because there's no right or wrong way for anyone to feel, just keep Jon updated about how you do feel.

Tell Him The Truth About How You Feel

Yes. She should stop saying "I love you".

Come clean that you were carried away with telling him you loved him back, otherwise you're knowing you feel differently to him will keep a distance between you.

When there's distance, people don't talk as freely to each other, because they're frightened that the truth will come out and cause all sorts of embarrassment. But you want to talk more to this guy, not less. Explain exactly that you do feel something and you do like him, but you're unsure about it all. There's no great rush to be in love (although it is great to be able to boast you have a boyfriend).

You give yourself a better chance of developing your feelings if you can be honest. So good luck with being mates for now! Do let us know how things go.

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