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Dear Laura,
Relationships that start over the Internet can be very complicated.
Like all relationships sometimes they work and sometimes they don't,
but often they are incredibly accelerated.
It's therefore important that you only speak your true feelings
to this man, and don't tell him you love him if you don't.
Shy people often find it easier to talk over the Internet because
they don't feel self conscious, and they feel they can say anything
to someone without the same consequences you would get if you were
talking to someone face to face.
Spend More Time Getting To Know Him
Now that you've met him twice, you know he's who he says he is,
and if you want to get to know him better, you might want to organize
to meet him more often, and spend more time talking over the phone,
so you get to know each other more personally.
Now that the relationship has got to this stage, it's probably
better to keep it away from the Internet and concentrate on meeting
and telephone conversations. Don't worry if you find you have very
little to say. This, unfortunately, is often a consequence of talking
on the Internet: When it comes to a proper conversation, it's hard
to think of things to say.
Just try and relax, and tell him about how you've been feeling
that day, or what things annoy you. Let him in on things that you
don't normally tell people, and this will help him to talk to you
more, and soon your conversations will be flowing. Before you make
a call to him, maybe think about a few subjects that you can talk
about to escape those uncomfortable silences.
Stop Saying "I Love You"
As for your feelings for him, you need to talk to him about telling
each other 'I love you'. It's only three words, but used in the
wrong context or untruthfully can end up hurting someone's feelings.
Agree that you'll both stop saying it for a while, until you've
decided about your true feelings for him.
Meet with him often, talk to him over the phone a lot, and then
decide if you love him. You don't HAVE to love your boyfriend, a
lot of people don't love their partners, they just enjoy spending
time with them and find them attractive. You don't need to say 'I
love you' to be in a relationship with someone. Just make sure you
are truthful too him and yourself, and concentrate on talking face
to face and on the phone, instead of using the Internet
Good luck.
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