Hi There,

I would agree with you that if your gut instincts tell you that he likes you, then chances are you're right.

I'm glad that you've acknowledged your feelings and even gladder that you've taken the situation seriously. Reading between the lines, I can feel a sense of regret that you've sort of gotten yourself into this problem. I don't think anyone has the right to be moral about this. You happen to have feelings for a guy, which in itself is an innocent thing, which we cannot dictate, but he's married. I think its admirable that you're taking this seriously and looking for advice.

Now's the hard part: what do you do? What's the compromise? I wish I could tell you that there is one, but I'm afraid, and I'm being gently honest with you, that there isn't one.

You Can't Exclude Him

I'm afraid you like him too much to exclude him from your life, and I don't mean the little things like a ride home and a meal out. He's very much a part of your life in that I'm sure you think of him often and look forward to time spent together and that's part of the problem.

If he worked away from you, another life, things would be easier, but he's there every day and it makes things difficult.

I can sense that you're throwing this figment of practicality our way i.e. you don't want things to look awkward at work. But could you consider this? You may have feelings for him (which you do), enough to prevent hurting him. I think you care for him a lot. But he's married you say. Yes, he is and that's what makes life so unfair.

I think Jerry cares much for you too. But I also think he cares deeply for his wife as well.

Talk to Him

I really don't think a heart-to-heart talk is appropriate.

If you really care for him (I'm not being manipulative, just listen), talk to him. Tell him that you care as well, but you're not going to let this go anywhere, and that things will be different for a while, that you need some space and that you want to be his friend. Then part ways until you're ready.

What? She just has to find new friendships and intrests.

Your language speaks of a lonely young woman, in a lonely world. All I can tell you is that loneliness is something that never goes away, after awhile you get used to it, like an old friend. I don't think anything or anyone can compensate for that.

I think it's time you spent time with new friends. Trust me, you never can predict the outcome of a new friendship.

– Luka