Dear Panel,
I am a single guy in his late 20's. She
is a single girl in her late 20's. The other person
is a guy onilne.
I've Been Hurt In The Past
I am a jealous person. I've diagnosed
myself this way and it at the very least stems from
my first love (10 years ago) cheating on me repeatedly.
I didn't used to be jealous about relationships, but
the first one really ruined it for me.
I met this really great girl about 2 years
ago but lately things have been stressful for her. I
accidentally found an e-mail from this guy in her 'guild'
on an online game that expressed how much he felt about
her, and thinking she feels the same way. He asked her
to call him and they could 'virtual snuggle'.
I Confronted Her, Kind Of
Well, since I don't snoop around on people
I'm involved with, I didn't say anything directly but
I did ask her about it, and she didn't admit to much.
She said that she wasn't interested in him, that she
didn't THINK he was interested in her (an obvious lie)
and that I'm just jealous. I am.
So I decided (perhaps poorly) to monitor
her e-mail through an online program. As it turns out,
she's a huge flirt online but never makes more than
tongue in cheek sexual references (or more precisely,
responds to them).
So I've figured out my girlfriend of over
2 years is a flirt, she doesn't allow him to call her
(because of guilt and that she cares about me) but continues
to have an online flirtation (romance?) with this fellow.
I Want To Rebuild Trust
Help me! I need some advice as I've broken
our trust with this monitoring but she won't tell me
the whole truth because I'm obsessed about the whole
thing (or perhaps she wouldn't anyways). She says she
loves me and has never cheated on anyone before and
I do believe her but I think this might be a first for
her if things go sour.
I'm trying to work on our relationship
and build trust and love, but how can I after what I've
done? What can I do to fix this problem and remain in
a relationship with the one I love?
Male, age 28, USA
Jennae,
Spanky,
and Java
answer this question.
