| Dear Bob,
Wow. Your soul was much more developed at 16 than mine was. OK,
now I have the sarcasm out of the way. I'm sure you've spent time
thinking of this, but want to lay out some of the questions in deciding
to get married.
- What does marriage mean to you?
- What do you want your married life to be like in the near future?
In your middle age? In your golden years? In your old age?
- What type of relationship do you need to have with your future
spouse to have that type of married life?
I'm guessing that the answers to these questions would not be a
reproduction of a teenage relationship, although there may be some
elements of that relationship that you are missing sorely now. But
the answers to the questions also may not be in sync with your current
relationship.
Make It Work Or Move On
And then you have two options: try to create the relationship (and
marriage) you want, or decide that it isn't going to happen with
this particular person and move on.
Get Your Head Out Of The Past
Either way, you have to get your head and heart out of the past.
Love who you were and what you did at that time in your life and
be grateful that it helped you become who you are today.
You seem to think a lot about the past, and worry a lot about the
future. Are you really enjoying your life today? If not, maybe your
relationship with Tom does need to end.
– Judith
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