|
Dear Shane,
It seems as if you have a very complicated relationship with this
girl, which has become incredibly intense.
Your Relationship Isn't Healthy
Weighing up what you've said about her behaviour, how you got together
in the first place, and how you would rather she lied to you about
what she does with other men makes me think that this relationship
isn't healthy for either of you.
The important question to ask yourself is whether you think this
relationship has a future. Right now you say you both love each
other, and you couldn't bare to break up with her. However, you
don't like the way she behaves around other men, and she is unlikely
to change any time soon if she continues to behave like this even
after you've asked her not to.
You even mention the fact that she's proud of the way she behaves,
and perhaps does it to impress her friends.
Break Up With Her
If after 9 months the relationship has got to the point where you
'love her so much that you hate her' I think the best thing, in
the long term for both of you, is to make a clean break from this
girl.
Neither of you is to blame, but I don't see what you're getting
out of the relationship other than the fact that you love her, which
seems to be hurting you rather than making you happy.
She's Acting Slutty So You'll End It
Her behaviour could also be her way of trying to be free from the
relationship. If she was truly happy being with you and only you,
I doubt if she would behave like this. I think you should take her
behaviour as a hint that she would rather live the single life.
Ending It Will Help Your Career
May I also suggest to you that breaking up with her could actually
be good for you career, and would give you the space to make the
most of your time in the academy.
Although it may hurt now, if you make a complete clean break from
her, you will get over her. You will also have a chance to meet
new people, and won't be worrying about Lauren's behaviour, and
whether or not she is cheating on you.
Staying with her will give you a lot to worry about that you don't
need, so use this opportunity of starting at the Air force academy
to begin a new life, away from this relationship which seems to
be causing you both so much grief.
You will be sorry and hurt to break up with her, but you have to
stick it out to get what you both need. Both you and her will be
thankful in the long run.
–
|
