Dear Frustrated,

Hi there. It's pretty normal for some mothers to become overprotective of their children. This usually happens to single parents who fear and dread of going through life alone.

Don't Give Up

You are doing the right thing. Don't easily give up on things you know are worth fighting for.

Have A Heart To Heart With Your Mom

Have a heart to heart talk with your mother. Tell her how much you love her and that loving someone should not mean holding a person back but letting her grow as an individual.

It may take some time for her to really accept the fact that you're not her little girl anymore and that you are your own person and entitled to choose your own path to take.

Just be patient. I know it's hard. I've once been a rebellious daughter and it's only when i got married that i realized why mothers' sometimes act the way they do.

It's OK To Be Secretly Engaged

Wrong. She shouldn't do anything behind her mother's back.

It's okay to be secretly engaged to R first. I for one also believe that engagement doesn't mean having that diamond ring in the finger but in knowing that you both feel the same way in love.

However, as society dictates, engagement would mean a formal intention of marrying a person at a definite date and time. Have you both set the time of your marriage? If it would be a year from now, it would be a good idea if you would tell your mom at least 6 months or 5 months before to prevent giving her a shock.

Stay In Country S

It would also be better if you and your partner stays in country S where you're currently working rather than in country M to lessen her tendency to feel that R is taking you away from her. Country S will be a neutral ground where you can both start and let your mother's grief heal first.

After all, no mother can ever forsake her daughter.

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