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Dear Skittle,
Oy, sweetheart, I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but you are
a B-A-B-Y!
It is heartening to hear that you were able to maintain a relationship
for two years; but don't you realize how much older and more mature
you are now than at 16? Well, dear, you have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA
how you will be in 5 or 10!
You Shouldn't Be Dating Anyone
DON'T do either one! You need to find out who YOU are before you
run off with anyone, break up with anyone, or even begin a new relationship.
You have a LIFETIME ahead of you - don't make potentially life altering
decisions like these without knowing yourself, where you are going,
WHO YOU WANT TO BE!
Being married to the same man for 30 years, with its up and downs,
and having dated quite enough men before settling down with him,
I can tell you a few things you may not want to hear, but they are
true for EVERYONE, not just me or you.
Every relationship begins with LUST (attraction, if you want to
be nice about it, but it boils down to lust). For all kinds of chemical,
emotional, visual, perceptual reasons, we are, male and female,
attracted to someone else physically. That's WHY we want to get
to know them better.
Relationships Require Work
Then when we get to know them better, we learn JUST HOW DIFFICULT
IT IS to get along intimately with someone else. It is this way
for EVERYONE, even gay couples.
To share our personal space, interests, time, energy and thoughts
with another human being (who is not a parent or sibling) in a relationship
of any long duration (or even short, for that matter) is INTENSELY
DIFFICULT.
Do you have the same goals, the same background, the same religion,
the same needs and desires? Are you headed in the same directions?
Do you share levels of maturity and communication? Have you discussed
the future together? Are you even mature enough to admit that you
aren't READY to deal with these issues yet.
Learn More About Yourself, And The World
ENJOY YOUR YOUTH - DON'T commit yourself without learning more
about yourself, the world, and your place in it! If you are not
going to college - get a job, save all your money, and travel around
the country, or the world, for 3-6 months.
LIVE AND LEARN. Enjoy YOUR OWN company. Go to the library and decide
what kinds of books you enjoy reading, learn about music and art!
Broaden your horizons! I hope I have been of some help to you.
Yours,
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