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Dear Leigh,
End it. You are not TRULY in love with this man if you are lusting
after others and even CONSIDERING cheating and not telling him.
You stated too many things that just point to "not ready".
Don't Cheat On Him
I am a firm believer in total honesty in a relationship to have
a solid one, and cheating on him and not telling him is one of the
WORST things you can do. You are doing him a great injustice by
doing that.
20-Year-Olds Don't Know What True Love Is
As for your lust, it is natural. I also think that you, like almost
every other 20-year-old, don't REALLY know what true love is. I
am 20, and I don't claim to have a clue in hell what it is, and
I don't expect to for years to come.
Much like you, I have much to learn and experience with other people
and myself to be able to decide who I want to spend the rest of
my life with. You may believe that this person is your soul mate,
but it is because you don't know what love truly is (honestly, it
is too hard to know yourself at this age to know what you look for
in someone else). And you should not have any doubts about your
soul mate. NONE.
End It
So my advice to you is to end it with your fiance. You are nowhere
near ready for marriage, not with what you have said you feel about
other people and cheating.
You will find someone else when the time is right down the road
and you are truly ready for marriage. Good luck in whatever you
decide.
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