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Dear Leigh,
CALL THE POLICE! SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY LIFE. Seriously, this is
my situation, word for word. Well, almost word for word. So, I'll
tell you what I'm doing to resolve my own personal dilemma. Unfortunately,
I can't tell you if it's all going to end up Happily Ever After,
but I know it's a start.
I also thought I had met my soul mate, when I was 17. It was a
time in my life when I was very vulnerable and would have done just
about anything, if only someone would love me. Skip ahead 3 years.
We're 'American Pie" happily engaged, happy homeowners and
a happy, happy couple.
I Had Doubts
Take out all those "happy's" and you'll be a little closer
to the truth. I wasn't unhappy by any means, but the familiarity
of the situation had made me very content. I had the "What
more could I want?" mind set. More dangerously, he had talked
me into believing that no one else would want me.
So I stayed and lusted after others and planned to leave and kept
deciding to stay content. It only takes one day. I don't remember
if it was after one of our never-ending nasty fights, where he is
always so sorry 2 hours after the horrible things have been said
and I buy it one more time, because, after all this IS the last
time, right??
I'm Glad I Made The Choice
I finally made the conscious decision that being content just wasn't
good enough for me anymore.
Why didn't I deserve the fantasy and wouldn't a soul mate really
be all you're dreaming of and more? Suddenly, I knew that he wasn't
the knight I had made him out to be. He wasn't really anything I
wanted at all. In fact, I wasn't what I wanted to be either.
I had given up so much, just so he would love "the real me"
and now I didn't even know who that girl was. And then I knew I
needed to find out.
I don't how close any of this is to your situation. Maybe your
prince is truly Charming. What I want you to take away from this
is the knowledge that it all is really in your hands.
Make Your Own Decisions
Your future is yours and only yours and if you never want to have
regrets, you need to think about yourself first, because in the
end, you're all you've got. And if you make ANY choices based on
anyone else's wishes but your own, there's only room for doubt.
You also need to decide who is going to help you make that future
that you're dreaming of, and if there's even one thought of regret,
or hint of doubt, don't do it!
I decided that I never want to look back and wonder "what
if?" and, believe it or not, the decision was a lot easier
than I thought. You're heart always knows what's right for the rest
of you. Some of us just need to learn to be better listeners.
Take the time to listen; you'll know what to do.
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