Snappy Answers Dec. 12, 2000

Dear Panel,

Can they figure it out whether you're still a virgin or not?

-- Anne [female, age 17, Phillipines]

Yes, usually by your questions.

Honey, they can't even figure out how to get from here to the shopping mall. Don't worry.

Dear Panel,

I am Dutch, so I'm not sure if everything I say is correct.

I'm going to spend the night at this boy's house, and I hope we will do more than just sleep. My problem is that I'm probably going to have my period. Is there any way how I could cancel my period this time?

P.S. I am also a virgin; does it really hurt bad?

-- Elise [female, age 16, The Netherlands]

Most women I know cancel their sleepovers, not their periods.

P.S. I guarantee it won't hurt the boy.

Noo, honey, you can't cancel your period.

You can't cancel a pregnancy either, except with some difficulty.

It usually doesn't hurt bad, unless he's a jerk to you in the next day or week. Then the pain is terrible.

Dear Panel,

I have been married for about a year, and I am very happy. But there are things that my husband lacks that my ex fiancé gave to the relationship.

Lately, I find myself wondering what it would be like if I had married my past fiancé. I have even gone so far as to email him and tell him this. Is this wrong?

-- Katheriene [female, age 19, Texas]

Depends. How long do you plan on staying married?

No it's not wrong. Stupid, but not wrong.

Was there any particular reason why you didn't marry your ex-fiancé? Perhaps you should remember that.

Dear Panel,

Not long ago, I rejected this guy because at that time, I didn't know if I liked him. Now, he already has a girlfriend and I cried when I saw them one day. This made me realise that I do like him. So should I forget him or fight with the other girl for him?

Another question: do you think it's right for ages 13-16 to get into a relationship now? OK, that's all, I look forward to your reply, Panel, bye!

-- confused gurl [female, age 14, Singapore]

Too late, sucka!

Toots, you don't like this guy really, you are just upset that he got over you.

No, it's not OK for YOU to be in any relationship quite yet.

Dear Panel,

I am dating this guy! We have been dating for about 2 weeks! We have a really good relationship! But the only problem is one of my best friends likes my boyfriend! But he doesn't like her!

Should I break up with my lover or ignore my friend??? HELP!

-- Megan [female, age 13, Texas]

Stop shouting at everyone and just relax!

The more the merrier.

How 'bout neither? Keep the lover, keep the friend, and keep the lover and the friend apart.

P.S. At your age, I sure hope you're using the term "lover" loosely. You're too clueless to handle a lover.

Dear Panel,

I am a tall, attractive high school student. Everyone tells me that I am funny and that they love being around me because I am funny. I am the best soccer player at the school and one of the best basketball players. I dress like what all the other kids would call preppy style and I am one of the most popular kids at school and I'm only a junior. I am 16 years old.

Marcie is a beautiful, darked-haired girl who is in her freshmen year of college at a local junior college. She didn't go away because of me. She went to my high school and was considered the most beatiful and popular of the year. Her senior year I was a sophomore and we dated ever since then. She was Homecoming Queen and a basketball cheerleader. She also dresses like a prep of course. She is 18 years old.

Shana is beautiful and the most popular senior this year. Likes to flirt a lot.

Me and Marcie were dating and everyone knew that we were a couple. Then she graduated and we stayed together.

At school this girl Shana flirts with me a lot and told me that she likes me and everything, so I told my girlfriend Marcie about this and told her that I told Shana I was dating Marcie and like her very much and am not interested.

I waited a few days after Shana told me this to tell Marcie for what ever reason and now Marcie thinks that I like Shana because I waited to tell her so she says that it means I had to think about who I liked and she thinks that if I don't like her now I will like her because I go to school with her.

What shoud I do? What can I say to make her realize I don't like Shana?

-- soccer stud [male, age 16, US]

Not having been the most popular basketball player in the school dating the homecoming queen, I can't really empathize. That's what you get for bragging to your girlfriend.

Maybe spend a bit more time studying and less time worrying about popularity and girls and you'll be better prepared to make a decision.

What should you do? If you want to stay with Marcie, keep going out with her, and avoid Shana, no matter how much her attention flatters your fragile male ego and raging hormones.

And oh, by the way, remember that it won't make Marcie value you more to tell her how other girls find you attractive.


Dear Panel, I am a twin and a model. My twin sis has a cyber boyfriend over the Internet, but on my screen name. I told him about what she did. But should I go out with him since it is my screen name? And she started off her relationship with him by having cyber sex... Should we go out? -- Steph [female, US]
	Did he think he was having cybersex with you or with her?
	No. Get a new screen name. Get your own life. Tell your sister to try to color inside the lines.
	I thought that models have more available to them than only boys who have cyber sex with their sisters. Go out with someone else.
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Dear Panel,

I am married (not happily) and have found my soulmate online! What am I to do?

-- confused

I guess you have to meet him and spoil the dream.

Get divorced. Then look for a real soulmate. In that order.

Dear Panel,

If I want to grab a girl's tits, how should I caress them?

-- billy [male, age 21, North America]

My girlfriend says if you grab her tits she'll slap you silly.

Didn't your mother ever tell you it was impolite to grab? Just mind your manners, will ya?

Like they're two different flavors of ice cream that you can't choose between.

Dear Panel,

How do I get my husband interested in sex?

-- chloe [female, age 20, USA]

It depends. With you? Or with anyone?

If the usual bikini and beer thing doesn't work, you drink the beer, put the bikini on him, and see what happens.

Dear Panel,

My boyfriend insists on having sex constantly. I know he loves me, but sex is pretty much all we do anymore. Help...

-- love ya babe [female, age 21, USA]

Define "insists".

Whew! How did you find the time to write?!

He doesn't really love you, he loves sex.

Dear Panel,

I am 18 and never made out with a guy.

Is this normal? How can I prepare myself?

-- HELP [female, age 18, Canada]

Start by having a conversation with one.

Dear Panel,

I can see that your list of Panelists is growing. But why do you not have any Asians or Hispanics on the Panel yet ?

Is it your belief that these do not have advice worth your Caucasian time? Or that Asian or Hispanic people that have situations to discuss can only do so with a Caucasian white accent ?

-- Sanjeev [male, age 35, Central Europe]

Or that Asians and Hispanics haven't *asked* to be Panelists? Do ya think that we know who's inquiring about being Panelists by the way they type? Please get a brain.

I am Mexican. The only accurate thing about my caricature is the size of my chest.

Do nerdy, half-Thai webmistresses count? And have you ever tried to find a match for your skin tone in the web-safe palette?