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Dear Panel,

If I want to grab a girl's tits, how should I caress them?

-- billy [male, age 21, North America]

Reader Mary responds:

Don't grab, and don't caress unless you have her permission.

I mean think about it, you wouldn't want some girl to go up to you and man-handle your balls, right?

-- Mary

Wanda LustReader Wanda Lust responds:

I disagree because they just weren't good enough come backs!!

Something like the following would have been more apt:

Get a life you lowdown, pathetic excuse for a human being. Pity the poor girl who ends up with you. May your nights be sad and lonely...oh, they probably already are!!!

-- Wanda Lust

Mabarosi Reader Mabarosi responds:

I'd just like to say that Billy is supposed to be 21. And he's asking a juvenile question like that?!?!

I bet he still giggles when the love scenes come on in movies. Grow up.

-- Mabarosi

Steve Reader Steve responds:

What Makes You Think He Was Talking About ANY Girl?

I'm pretty pissed at the reaction of everyone to Billy. I saw absolutely nothing in his question that suggested he was talking about just ANY girl he sees. Before judging him, how do you know he doesn't have a girlfriend that he's intimate with and simply wants to know the right way to caress her breasts so she'll enjoy it??!!!

Fast Judgments

Perhaps he really is a schmuck who's just looking for a piece, but I saw no proof of that and therefore – all you respondents are high-nosed ASSHOLES who judge fast!! People who make passing judgments without really examining first are a big problem!! It's thanks to judgmental assholes like yourselves that there's sexism, racism, and prejudice of all kinds. Wake the F*** up!!

How To Touch Breasts

Billy, if you've got a woman or have recently been involved with women and simply want to know how to caress they're breasts so they'll enjoy it , I'd suggest plainly asking them, or else experimenting – and always start off gently – to my experience, few women prefer a harsh treatment. So start with gentle touches with your hands, lips, and tongue. Be especially gentle with her nipples. If she seems to enjoy it, keep it up... if she wants you to be more aggressive, she'll usually find subtle ways of letting you know.

Billy, If You ARE a Schmuck...

If you really are just a schmuck trying to grab the tits of women who pass you by or you don't even know – don't do it. It's rude. It's harassment. And people are right to judge you for exhibiting poor behavior.

-steve

 

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