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Dear
Panel,
How
can I win back a confused ex-girlfiend who I was with
for 2.5 years? She has come to the same university as
me and started having feelings for someone else.
Any
suggestions would be gratefully appreciated. I love
her to death.
-
Fighting for the One I Love
Male,
age 20, London UK
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Go
get confused with someone else. |
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She's
not confused at all. She's with the person she wants to
be with. Move on. |
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Probably you
can't win her back. Key clues are "ex-girlfriend"
and "having feelings for someone else".
If you want
to try to win this losing battle, try making yourself
happy, and let her see you that way.
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Dear
Panel,
I'm
in a relationdhip now going on two and a half years, and
something just doesn't feel right anymore. Our sex life
is non-existent, and neither of us has any patience left
for each other.
Are we not meant to be, or just in a slump?
-
Frustrated
Female,
age 23, Canada
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Everyone's
love life slows down after the first year. Whether you
should stay together depends more on what you each want
from life, the values you do (or don't share) and how
compatible you are.
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Dear
Panel,
I've
known a guy for 4 months, he has just come out of a rough
break up with his previous girlfriend, but it was a year
ago.
I'm
wondering if he'd be ready to go any farther than friends
with me, or will he just stay friends. How will I know
his decision?
-
Lily
Female,
age 17, Canada
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Time and Actions.
His, that is.
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You'll
only know if you pursue it! |
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Isn't 4 months
long enough for YOU to make some kind of decision?
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Dear
Panel,
Is
it normal to constantly think of and want to be with my
girlfriend all the time? Am I over-possesive if I get
a little depressed if I don't see her?
I
really wish I can be with her all the time.
-
Confuzed
Male,
Singapore
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This could
be love.
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If any of that's
bad, then I guess I'm in trouble too.
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Depends.
If there's a shrine to her in your bedroom, then you might
have an eensy weensy problem. |
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others' reactions
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Dear
Panel,
I
am a 22-year-old female who graduated from college in
the Northeast in May and moved to Florida to take a job.
Peter
is my boyfriend. He's 32 and he works in my office. He's
from Florida.
Peter
and I met when I first started working in June and we
just had our 6 month anniversary. He's goofy and wacky
and a lot of fun, but definitely a little crazier than
I am. We get along really well, but we come from different
backgrounds and have different types of friends.
Peter
has asked me to marry him, not necessarily tomorrow, but
he often talks about it for the future. I do love him,
but I am worried that maybe he's not the one I'm supposed
to be with.
What should I do?
-
Confused 02453
Female,
age 22, Florida
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At 22, not
worry about the future overly much.
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Don't
marry him until you're ready. |
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While he may
be the one, you're clearly not ready to commit yet. See
what happens when you tell him that.
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Dear
Panel,
I
have a friend of about a year and a half. My feelings
for her have turned from friendship into a strong crush.
When I asked her about dating, she gently turned me down,
which really hurt.
I
still care for her and I'm having a real hard time moving
on, but I know that moving on is the right thing to do.
I'm in no mood to look for someone else right now. How
can I get over her, but not lose her friendship?
Male,
age 32, USA
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You have a
good friend here! She cares enough about you to let you
down gently. Even though it hurt you, you should value
this friendship. True friends are very hard to find.
As for how
you get over this crush, you can't just get over it. You
just have to let yourself get over it over time.
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Ask her to
go dancing with you, but let her lead.
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Dear
Panel,
I just turned 20 not so long ago, and there is a really
sweet and funny girl that likes me...Problem is, she is
15 almost 16.
I
know lots of people who date girls much younger than them
so my question is as long as we arent "close"
and just hang out and kind of date is that wrong??
What
should I do?
-
Lonely but Loved
Male,
age 20, Southern US
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Stop hanging
around the playground at three o' clock and find your
next "hang out partner" at a place where it's
legal for her to drink.
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Let her practice
on some other guys until she turns 18, and then you move
on her with a clear conscious.
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It's not wrong,
but the age difference at this age is a big problem. She's
not old enough to drink, drive, stay out past midnight...
and you're way beyond that. You might want to look harder
for an adult.
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I also know
lots of people who date 15 year old girls. I call them
Middle-schoolers.
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Dear
Panel,
Does
a guy actually have to have a women to get a women?
I
get the classic: "You're such a nice guy, why are
you single?"
I
say that's why!
I
guess the perception is that an avalilable man is not
a challange. They say that the challenge theory pertains
to both sexes but I believe its more so to women. Guys
tell me and I witness it all the time: the taken guys
get more opportunity to date.
-
Too Available
Male,
age 29, Midwest USA
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According to
personal experience you seem to be right on.
Maybe we should
start a business that allows you to temporarily check-out
"challenge" women.
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You are challenged
by women who are only interested in "taken"
guys. If those are the only women that interest you, then
of course you won't find a woman of your own.
Stop calling
the kettle black, and start looking at women who themselves
are available.
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Interesting
theory. However, it's simpler than that. If you are an
idiot, you won't get a date with anyone!
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Dear
Panel,
I
am 16 years old and in the 10th grade. There is this girl
in my 4th hour class that I really like. I look at her
a lot, and I see her looking at me a lot too. I like her
not because of her looks (very pretty), but because of
her personality.
Well
my question would be, even though I am a "skater",
and she is a preppie (nice dresser) do you think I would
have a chance? And how can I go about talking to her and
eventually asking her out? I have never talked to her
before.
Thanks
in advance. Please reply.
-
Melzas
Male,
age 16, Oklahoma
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"Romeo
& Juliet" seems to ring true for many generations.
Being a preppie, she would probably love to discuss the
merits of this story with you.
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If she doesn't
like you for what you are then don't even bother trying
to asking her out.
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It doesn't
matter if you two come from two different "groups".
First get to
know her...find out how she really feels about you and
then asking her out should come naturally!
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Dear
Panel,
What
will I do? I'm not into a relationship but I told the
girl that I love her. But what if she tells me she loves
me too?
I
know I can't handle a relationship and the commitment
right now. What should i do?
Please
help.
-
Afraid
Male,
age 17, Asia
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Stop telling
every Jane, Lisa and Betty Lou that you love them if you
don't...come on, you know how us chicks are.
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Tell the girl
that you are sorry and just can't handle a relationship
right now and will refrain from making dumb-ass "I
love you" comments in the future when you don't really
mean it.
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You may need
to use more words to explain that though you love her,
you don't want a relationship.
She may well
ask what love means to you. Be prepared to answer that
one. And be prepared to lose her.
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Sorry,
that's the last question.
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