Snappy Answers July 10, 2001

Dear Panel,

What do girls want in nightclubs?

I think it would be interesting to hear you discuss this.

– Tim

Male, age 20, Michigan

Girls just wanna have fun; they aren't lookin' for love in night clubs.

Uhhh...maybe dance? or.....to drink....you think?

A lot of dancing and a few phone numbers.

Dear Panel,

My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he was still not over his ex-girlfriend – they dated for three years.

I told him that I would wait until he was ready, but how do I do that?

I cry myself to sleep at night and want to be with him more than anything in the world.

– Brokenhearted

Female, age 21, Colorado Springs

Don't wait, sugar, let go and move on. Remember; he broke up with you – he didn't put you on temporary hold.

Dear Panel,

I've been have a lots of dreams of putting a lady over my knee and spanking her.

Can somebody help me with this?

– Barry

Male, age 42, Canada

Sure, come here you naughty boy!!

Dear Panel,

I am a 46 year old man, single, who's stuck at home living with his folks, because about six years ago I had a series of brainstem strokes.

So now I put my name up in all the dating clubs online, but no one even writes me back.

Tell me, what am I to do?

– George A.

Male, age 46, Phoenix AZ

Leave the "living with the folks" out of your ad and don't bring it up until you have to.

There's lots of handicap support groups where people make friends, help each other out, and make other types of connections. Join one.

Dear Panel,

I and the girl I like went clubbin' for two nights.

Then both nights, we slept in my car together to make out.

I don't know what to do – the probem is she has a boy friend.. But she told me her boyfriend has been pissing her off these few days.

I don't know what I should do with her. She is willing to let me kiss her and all, but I am just wondering what you guys think about it.

Do you guys think I would ever have a chance to hook up with this girl?

if you're a girl, would you sleep with the same guy 2 times and let him kiss you ?

– Lap

Male, age 18, Salt Lake City

If I were a girl, I'd still probably prefer girls. Especially if I was on the trashy side like this one.

Sure, I'd sleep with some guy and let him kiss me if I was pissed at my boyfriend. It's called "using".

If all you want from this relationship is what you got, you're in hog heaven. But don't hold your breath for more.

Dear Panel,

I really need help. I've liked this senior guy for over 7 months and I've been doing stuff with him on the DL since then.

I'm a sophomore and all I want is a relationship with him. I know he used to like me, but now I don't know. It feels like ever since I gave up my virginity for him, all he cares about is sex and making sure no one finds out.

Please don't tell me that this guy sounds like a jerk and forget about it because I really like him SOOOOOOOOO much.

Tell me what to say to him so that he'll LIKE me and we can make something out of it. Playing hard to get is just too hard for me to do!!

– Julia

Female, age 15, from "Cali"

Why on earth would I say he sounds like a jerk?

However, you might want to consider some kind of middle ground between playing "hard to get" and "sophomore slut".

You said it, not me: "all he cares about is sex and making sure no one finds out...this guy sounds like a jerk...forget about it."

Fortunately I know you're talking about doing it on the 'down low' and not the 'disabled list'.

You are just sex to this guy. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can recover from being used.

He does like you...for sex.

Dear Panel,

There is a girl who is younger than I. She is hot and she keeps flirting with me.

By younger, I mean she is 19; I am 35.

Should I go for it or not?

– Confused

Male, age 35, USA

The answer from most 35 year-old guys would probably be "yes".

She's legal and she is old enough to know what she's doing. Why not go for it?

Two words: too young!

Dear Panel,

Well, I'm in a relationship with a guy named Darren. I really love him a lot, but I fear that he doesn't love me as much as I do. I don't want to end up getting hurt. I want to know how he really feels about me, no matter how negative it could be. I think about him day and night, he is like my whole life!

About a month ago, I saw him hugging another girl after school. She's real cute, and I can't help but wonder and be jealous. This is an awful feeling that I really want to get rid of.

What should I do? Does he love me or not? How will I know?

He barely calls me, claiming because I don't call him, but why should I? I mean, he's the guy right? The GUY should be the one to initiate the relationship.

What is your advice? I'm really going crazy here.

– Kelren

Female, age 17, Missouri

If a girl wants something, a girl needs to take the initiative to get it. Call him, ask him what you need to know.

And drop those useless 1950's stereotypes about the guy being in charge of relationships.

Dear Panel,

Why do girls like guys who are mean to them?

Also, why do they shy away when the guy is really nice?

– Jerome

Male, age 19, Texas

Confidence attracts girls. Mean guys have it, while shy guys sometimes don't.

God made women stupid enough to love men.

My personal rule is 60% nice, 40% asshole.

Anything nicer than that is smothering, any more asshole and they don't deserve me.

Dear Panel,

My girlfriend and i plan to settle down next year, but she is Chinese and wants a traditional engagement, which I am okay with.

Problem: I don't know what the traditional Chinese engagement ceremonies are.

– Messenger

Male, age 38, Canada

Traditional Chinese engagements involve the fathers making an arranged marriage, but I think she means she wants you on one knee asking her, then waiting a couple months while making preparations for said marriage.

Can you ask her? Or, if you aren't speaking to each other, perhaps a search on the Internet could help.

Dear Panel,

I am a 22 year old that's having a serious issue. I slept with a 14 year old girl, however she told me she was 18 and she was at the bar with her boyfriend He and I had it out she spent the night , etc.

Now here I am two weeks later, and she's living with me.

I tried to take her home – her father threw money at me and told me to take her. I haven't slept with her again beacuse I do feel it IS wrong, however she doesn't quite understand.

What do I do now?

– I hate what I have done

Male, age 22, from "Rather not say "

Oh boy. Call social services in your city. Let them help her.

She doesn't quite understand, but you do, or should. If she stays with you, you are in a heap of trouble so deep you may never get out from under.

Get her out of your house, and keep your pants zipped at all times around her.

Dear Panel,

I recently met a guy online. We talked for a while and eventually agreed to meet up over the weekend. He asked for my phone #, but I didn't give it to him just then.

After a few more minutes, he said something to the effect of "I thought before that you were a pretty cool person, but now I realize that you're not. Leave me alone."

Well, I asked him what made him say that, and he didn't say more than 3 words to me before he just said "goodbye."

I want to know why he said that and what I should do about the situation.

– E

Female, age 15, Illinois

You should be thinking you got off really easy and that you were smart to never give a loser your phone number.

Next question

Dear Panel,

My girlfriend spends all of her time obsessing about World Wrestling Federation and not spending time with me.

What should I do?

– Luis

Male, age 24, USA

Drop her.

Next question

Dear Panel,

Is it posible to fall in true love online ?

– Kimmie

Female, age 33, Michigan

Yes, if you're an icon.

Nope.

Why not? Everyone online is gorgeous. Just ask them.

Hell yes! I and my boyfriend have been together 3 years so far.