Jayne said:

"Nice" is a code word. If someone tells you that you are "nice", you are either ugly or have a horrible personality, and that is the nicest way of saying, "Adios".

Readers React:

• Reader Sarah disagrees with Jayne: "I've said this to people and not meant it like that at all."
  
  
• Jeannie disagrees with Jayne: "Nice is NOT a code work for ugly or horrible personality. What a horrible thing to say."
  
  
• Reader Truth Hurts disagrees with reader Sarah: "What hypocritical bull. Of COURSE you meant 'nice' as a code word."

Reader Sarah Responds:

Some Are Nice, But Not as Lovers

What hypocritical bull. Of course you mean it as a code word.

I disagree because I've said this to people and not meant it like that at all. Sometimes people are nice but not as lovers.

This year I went out with "Chris" for a while and I liked him a lot but only as a friend. Then I got semi-involved with "Seth", who wasn't nice at all but I was really into him.

Jerks Get Praised

I have a theory that for women at least, jerks are attractive because on the occasion that they do something nice, it seems really special. With nice guys, on the other hand, courtesy and kindness are expected, and we get angry when the nice guys slips. That's why nice guys get yelled at and jerks are praised.

– Sarah

Female, age 16

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