Dear Panel,

I have been with my boyfriend for four years.

Lately I have felt that while I love him, I may no longer be in love with him. I have been noticing other men a lot more then usual. I can't imagine ever hurting him by breaking up, but I feel like I am missing out on true love.

Could our relationship just be in a rut? I really don't know what to do.

– Carol

Female, age 25, Canada

Do you think anyone else would satisfy you for more than 4 years?

No, this is what happens in relationships. Time to get married, I say!

Maybe a good start would be telling him instead of us?

Hello! Don't cheat him out of a real relationship, leave.

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Dear Panel,

Am I being paranoid because my girlfriend likes hanging out with my guy friends? She says she loves me and I should trust her completely.

Should one of my friends writing her e-mails addressed to "darling" and signed "love" make me too paranoid? Am I just being to untrusting and over bearing?

– Mike

Male, age 18, New Zealand

I believe in unconditional trust. Until I find the "darling love" letter.

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Dear Panel,

What is the fastest and most painless way to get over someone you've just broken up with? (We went out a year and a half.)

– Lisa

Female, age 20, Louisiana

Chocolate ice cream.

A fast and painless way? Hmm... I'll tell you that next week when I find the cure for cancer.

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Dear Panel,

Can I have a relationship with a guy when I don't want to have sex with him?

– no signature

Female, age 19

I have lots of relationships like that.

Yes, but he should know that.

Of course you can. Stick to your guns. However, if you get married, sex willl most likely be expected.

I'm sure you can, but what's the point?

Yes, but it will be a non-sexual one.

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Dear Panel,

Should I loose my virginity to him, even though we've been together for 3 months and 2 days?

– Barbara R.

Female, age 19, Texas

No you should wait until 4 months and 17 days. HELLO?????? Use your head!!!

Wait 3 more years and 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If he were me, I'd say yes.

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Dear Panel,

I'm currently living with my boyfriend – we are together for 2 years, we are very happy in our relation and we love each other and both see our future together and I know it from conversations and actions (I'm 27 years old and he is 33).

However he did not ask me to marry him –I know it's not about me, I want him to ask, but I don't want to press.

– Diana

Female, age 27, Israel

If you don't want to ask, I don't either.

Then don't press. He'll ask when feels ready.

Why don't YOU ask HIM? That's allowed, you know.

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Dear Panel,

Is it OK to go out with a friend of the opposite sex on a friendship-only basis, while being in a long term relationship?

– Puzzled

Female, age 19, Virginia

It's OK with me.

Yeah, as long as you keep it as friends.

Why wouldn't it be?

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Dear Panel,

I split up with someone I love.

It was a long distance relationship, we'd see each other almost every weekend, but we always ended up fighting over really stupid tiny things. My ex told me a white lie to cover up something that had happened and to avoid an argument one weekend. Unfortunatley, the same weekend I found out about the lie and was angry. I decided to split up with her.

It's been a while since all this happened and I feel glad to be out and that the arguing is over. We are still friends and talk every week.

Is it a bad idea to go back?

– Keith

Male, age 29, Scotland

Before: fighting, stupid, argument, lie, angry

After: glad to be out, arguing is over, friends, talk

Hmmm, what was your question again?

Yes. Sometimes people are better as friends than as partners. You said "I feel glad to be out..." If you mean it, stay out!

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Hi Panel,

I live in New York State. I'm 17 and this girl is 22. I will be seventeen in three months.

What is the legal age in NY for a male: 17 or 18?

– Mike K.

Male, age 17, USA

In NY, or any other state, you are legally whatever age you are.

Also see: "What is statutory rape? And why?"

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Dear Panel,

I have 2 questions (I live in Arkansas. My age is 20, my girlfriends age is 16):

• 1. If we have sex it considered any type of rape or statutory rape?
• 2. And can you be accused of rape or statutory rape for just having oral sex?

– In Love And Confused

Male, age 20, USA

1. Probably not if you're related. (I'm sure Webmistress Cynth has a better answer.)
2. Her father will probably accuse you of a lot more than "just" that.

No and no. Unless she says "no" or "is mentally defective or mentally incapacitated" according to Arkansas law.

Also see: "What is statutory rape? And why?"

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Dear Panel,

My really good friend is dating the friend of my boyfriend. Sounds like fun, right?

My guy is sweet as they come, but my friend's boyfriend doesn't treat her well. At all. She is always complaining about him and saying her self esteem is going down, but she never does anything about it. He never does whay he says he will and it breaks her heart.

I feel like she needs to get out of her relationship fast, but I don't know how to tell her. She says she loves him, but how could she? She doesn't break up with him because she doesn't want to be alone and she is afraid all of us will hate her afterwards. (I have assured her we won't.)

What should I do??? I hate to see her like this.

– D.D.

Female, age 16, Michigan, USA

I hate to see her like that, too. We both have big hearts. Now let's save our hearts for something we can have an affect on, like our own relationships, and stay out of others'.

Tell her how you feel about it.

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You messed up. You're 15. You'll get over it.

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Dear Panel,

Should I pursue her or forget her?

About a month ago, this girl I work with started talking to me. She would come to my cubicle everyday, pull up a chair, and start talking. This went on for about three weeks. A couple of my buddies kept telling me to ask her out. They said she was dropping hints like crazy. I had the same idea. So I finally got the courage to ask her out. She said "yes" with a big smile. We went out and had a great time. I was relaxed and felt real good on the date and talked more than I normally do. (I'm usually pretty quiet.) I tried to keep things lite since it was our first. During dinner we had a lot of eye contact and smiled at each other a lot. I thought that was a good sign.

On the way home, she told me she had a great time, at which point I asked her if she would like to go out again. She said "yes".

Now here it is a week later and not only has she not come to talk to me, when I see her in the hall she all but ignores me. What's up?

– Clong

Male, age 34, Cincinnati, Ohio

Could she possibly be waiting for you to show SOME kind of initiative?

Dear doofus,

You waited too long to make a second date. She feels rejected. Why don't YOU go talk to her in HER cubicle. Bring flowers or some chocolate.

You're delusional. The date went horribly.

If you haven't talked to her in a week I would blow you off too!

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Dear Panel,

I am currently enroll in a relationship with my girlfriend and she has asked me to kiss her breast. How do I go about doing that? Are there any techniques I should know about this??

Please help! I would like to please her so she won't regret it.

Thanks

– Roc

Male, age 19, California, USA

You're enrolled where? What kind of instituiton is this?

1. Slow tongue, gentle kisses.
2. No Slobber allowed.
3. If you're gonna pinch, make sure she likes it.
4. Avoid sucking the nipple too long or she'll think you have issues with your mom.

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Sorry, that's the last question

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