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Dear Panel, She is seeing another man (Jack) whom she feels obligated to, yet she tells Adam she misses him (although he has cheated on her and she can't seem to let that go). Does she love Adam or is she just using them both? – Lauralee Female, age 30, Texas |
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And why do you care?
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Have you thought about what the GUYS want? It's unfair and selfish of her to string them along. Crap or get off the toilet, Lauralee. |
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Dear Panel, The person I love changed after she went for a holiday somewhere else. She started to ignore me and sometimes not even talking to me. She acted cool to me and I dunno what to do, but I still love her. – Carrot Farmer Male, age 20, Alaska |
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She appears to no longer love you. |
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Dear Panel, Is it normal/common for a straight
woman to occasionally have fantasies about other women? – Confused 34607094 Female, age 24, USA
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Yes. Just like it is normal for women to fantasize that men are romantic.
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Do the other women look like men? |
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Dear Panel, Hi I'm Amy. I am a 15-year-old girl who's going into 9th grade. Dave is almost 16 and going into 10th grade and has been in and out of my life for about two years now. We are not together anymore, but we still love each other and I feel like there are still feelings there. Last week I had a head injury and I lost a lot of my memory from it. My memory is now all back, but two days ago I saw Dave at the camp that he works at because I drove up there for a special parents and friends evening thing. Due to the knock on my head, I only had 65% of my memory at that point and I couldn't remember random things due to where on the head I got hit. I was talking to one of my best friends that works there too. I remembered her, and I felt someone put their arms around my waist from behind me. I was really confused and out of it from my head injury and the person started yelling at me to say "Hi" to them and that I knew them. I turned around and had no idea who I was looking at (later to find out that it was Dave). He got very angry thinking that I was ignoring him and started cursing at me and yelling at me, until my friend told him that I couldn't remember because of my head. However, he didn't seem to believe me and all he kept repeating was that he was Dave, but it just didn't have a spot in my head. I knew he had a place somewhere, I just couldn't find it or make the connection. He got mad and walked away and I went to talk to other people that I recognized. Later on, he was in the circle that I was talking to and I said "Hi" to him, remembering him from the earlier conversation. He smirked at me, "Oh so now you remember me," and I nodded "Yes" and told him that I remembered him a little. As I kept trying to remember who he was and looking at his face, little things came back to my mind such as letters we had written to eachother, or things from the times that we were together. But he still just thought that I was ignoring him and he was very cold and not understanding at all towards me. My friends saw that I was very upset and two of them went over to him and told him that it wasn't my fault and that I really couldn't remember and he responded with "That must really suck." Right before I left to come back home that night I was talkng to one of my friends and my memory of who he was totally hit me. I just wanted to go up to him and tell him that I remembered everything but as I looked up he was looking right at me from aboout ten feet on the dining hall balcony. We just looked at each other for about 5 or 10 seconds and then my friend tapped me and told me he is going home tomorrow and I don't know what to say or do. I won't be seeing him but I'll either... – Elana Female, age 15, USA |
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I personally think this guy sounds like a stuck up bastard who doesn't care about you as much as you care about him. He's a waste of your time!
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If he loves you, he'll understand. |
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Dear Panel, I was flirting with a guy friend in front of my boyfriend. Now he says he can't trust me. What do I do? – Iz Female, age 16, Canada |
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Start flirting with your boyfriend. |
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Say "oopsies!" Learn your lesson, and tell him to give you another chance. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend asked me to marry him. We have been together off and on for 2 years. We both had our problems to deal with before he proposed. I'm 16 he is 17. He proposed to me in January and I said "yes". We have been together ever since. Am I too young? – Sweet~Tart AngelFemale, age 16, USA |
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Probably. How 'bout a nice, long engagement... say until you're at least 23? |
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Dear Panel, My fiancé gets jealous easy. Well, one night I was over at my cousin's house. He is a male and has hit on me before. And my fiancé, Charlie asked me not to go over there to hang out with my cousin and our friends. What should I do? – Sweet~Tart Angel Female, age 16, USA |
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Find a fiancé that does not get jealous easy. And avoid cousins that hit on you. |
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Getting jealous because of your cousin? You're not from the South, are you? |
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Dear Panel, My friend has sort of a problem. She is in love with a man, her first love, her first everything. Everything was going fine until this other girl came into the picture. Now it seems like her man likes the new girl. They walk around school together, they flirt, hit each other stuff like that. They live together. One day the girl came to her house and the girl and my friend's boyfriend were sitting in the car together for a while. My friend played it off like she didn't care, but she does. It seems like the other girl doesn't care and continues to flirt with him, and she's aware of their relationship! What should she do? – Charline Female, age 17, New Jersey, USA
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Get a FRIEND like his. |
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Dear Panel, What are the differences between the way in which a girl acts when she just wants to be a friend, and if she likes you? What if she has a boyfriend already? How do I tell
if she likes me? – Greg Male, age 17, USA |
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If she likes you as more than a friend, she'll break up with her boyfriend. |
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If she already has a boyfriend, you'd be better off to leave her alone. |
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Dear Panel, I've been dating my boyfriend/fiance for 2 years now. Ever since we started dating, we've spent all our time together (there really wasn't "dating", we were instantly going out). We recently moved to a new state where we don't know many people, and that's been tough. But my real question is, does passion die after a while in a relationship? I feel like we're mostly just friends these days. My boyfriend isn't really the romantic type, but he does treat me well. – Lostlove? Female, age 24, Seattle |
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Being best friends is the most important part of a relationship. Passion is the easy part and uses little imagination. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years now. We haven't had sex yet, but the tension is sometimes there. But there is one thing that I have started to notice is that he never wants to kiss me. At first I thought it was my breath, or that I just had bats in my cave (bugers). But I really paid attention to when he kisses me, and that's when he's either horny, or after we got finished fooling around. And sometimes all I want to do is kiss him. But it really hurts, when he turns his head as I lean over to kiss him. And I end up kiss his cheek. It makes me feel really bad. What could be wrong? Please help. – No Kisses Female, age 22, USA |
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You mean that's NOT when we're supposed to kiss girls? |
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Because kissing implies emotions, and all he wants is sex. |
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Who knows what goes on in guys' heads? You need to ask him what's wrong. Tell him how hurt you are by his behavior, that you want to understand – then listen. |
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Dear Panel, I have had 6 dates with a man I really like. So far we agree on everything and have almost identicial likes and dislikes. We have a great time when we are out, but he says he doesn't want to have a relationship because he doesn't want to lose his independence. We are both in our 50's and I'm about as independent as they come, so I'm a little confused as to why he would miss out on an opportunity for a great relationship before it even begins. He says he likes me a lot, but just doesn't know if he will ever be in a relationship again. His ex-wife cheated on him while they were married and I think he fears that all are unfaithful. If I didn't like him as much as I do, I would just say goodbye. What do you think are our chances of developing a relationship? – Jazabel Female, age 51, Texas |
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Ever wonder why "slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing? It seems like where you're at is about as far as this train is going. Like it, or leave. |
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Pressuring someone for commitment NEVER works. Why the rush? |
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Respect his feelings by not pressing for a relationship. It may take a little longer, but with time and love comes trust. |
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I think it's a possibility sometime before you're 65. |
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Dear Panel, I am in love with a girl and we speak to each other. But whenever I speak to her she plays with her chain in the neck. I wanted to know her tendency over the matter. I need to know what does this mean. Does she like me or not?? – Dinesh Female, age 21, India |
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Boy, you're getting deep. But okay: she's either nervous, or she feels like you're choking/controlling her. Or both. |
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Why don't you stop looking so hard and ask her out? |
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Dear Panel, I have a problem -- a few days ago my wife and I got into a fight and ended up hitting each other. She hit first, then I hit her, and now it is killing me inside. She's left and I don't know where, and I miss her terribly. This fight was caused by me as I was very stressed out about my father dying exactly 2 weeks earlier. I don't know what to do. I just want my wife back as I miss her terribly. Please help. What can I do to tell her I love her.? What can I do to just have her back here with me?? – Desperately Missing Ms. P Male, age 28, USA |
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In a word, professional counseling. OK, that was two words. |
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Doesn't matter who started the fight, or who hit whom first: get over that childishness. Once you find out where she is, apologize for your part in the problem, tell her what you told us, insist on couples counseling, without blaming her... good luck. Also, I'm sorry for your loss. |
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Find yourself an anger management program or a counselor and THEN start looking for her. |
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Dear Panel, I'm an Asian lady (age 21) and I'm happen to see this website and would like to discuss about the feeling I have. I have a boyfriend and we have getting along for almost 5 months. We have kissing and which I quite enjoy but, one problem is I DON'T enjoy petting. My boyfriend likes it. Whenever he tries to touch or caress my body, I'm afraid because this is the first time I'm doing it. (My FIRST boyfriend.) At first, I do not know what is petting and how it goes. So I tried letting him *****. OH my god. I feel awful and disgust. I never had anyone touching my breast except my mum. He even lead my hand to touch him. I feel the same (awful and disgust). I do not why I have this kind of feeling. AM I normal??? Am I the type to have petting with my Boyfriend??? When we do petting, is it that we have to be naked??? Please help to solve my problem, whenever we have kissing, he wants petting. Please help, thank you for your help. – Adeline Female, age 21, Asia |
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Buy a cat and tell him he can pet your pussy all he wants, but to keep his hands off of you. |
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You're a normal, sheltered lady. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Talk to your boyfriend about what feels comfortable and not. If he really respects you, he'll go slowly, and the two of you will together discover what to do. And if he continues to make you uncomfortable, he's not the one for you.
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You're typical of many traditional Asian girls, like my mother, who have been taught that sex is disgusting. It's normal to enjoy petting at your age if you're ready for it. Sounds like you're not ready. |
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Why was your mum touching your breast? |
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Dear Panel, I'm falling in love with a married man. What can I do? Please help me. I started my relationship with him when I was 18 – now I'm 21. He is my first boyfriend. – Rhove Female, age 21, Philippines |
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There is absolutely nothing YOU can do. For someone with willpower and the ability to think, I would say find another guy to start a relationship with. |
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Give yourself and him a deadline, and stick to it. Either he's free in six months, or you're gone. If not, be prepared to be alone for a long time, until you wise up. |
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Can we say, "Time for boyfriend number two"?? |
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Dear Panel, I've known this guy for over 3 years and he's tried numerous times to try to make something happen between us. And for one reason or another I've brushed him off. Now I'm finding myself more and more attracted to him and I want to make something happen between us. How do I show him that I'm interested? What should I do? – Lost About Love Female, age 19, USA |
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How about you invite him out on a date? Nothing like a clear signal. |
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Dear Panel, My girlfriend discovered that I lied to protect her feelings, about an old relationship and hurt her very deeply and lost her trust. What can I do, from a female point of view, to get that trust back? – William Male, USA |
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If you lied to keep her from being hurt she should understand, and not take it too hard. Just make it up to her. |
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First admit that protecting her feelings wasn't really the reason you lied. |
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Dear Panel, I am a white man at college (undisclosed) and I have gone on a date with a black woman, but we did not hold hands so people would not know. This was our first date. I really like her and don't know what to do. – Jared Male, age 30, USA |
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Hold hands. |
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If you really like, you should feel free to hold hands and more. Unless you go to a school where "race mixing" is a big deal issue. Then, for both your sakes, you might have to keep things under wrap. But if you're uncomfortable dating a black woman, be honest with her and yourself and end it now before you hurt her. |
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Dear Panel, Why would a boy keep a girl's bra or underwear? Besides them showing their friends. – Natasha S. Female, age 6, USA |
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Ya got me. Unless he wants to know her size so he can buy her cool lingerie that might actually fit her –no, wait – that was just a dream. |
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Maybe he thinks they're rather comfortable. |
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Sorry, that's the last question
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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