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Dear Panel, I can't teach myself to trust my boyfriend. He has never done anything to for me not to, but my dad cheated on my mom, and I think that has always affected me. He says that it is very stressful on him and it makes him not want to come home to me at night. We have been together for a year and 4 months and have lived together for a year. How do I know that when he goes out with his friends he will not do anything? – TroubleTrusting Female, age 20, Midwest USA |
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He's not your father – give him a chance, and cut him some slack. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend is a few years older than I am and I really realy care about him. But when we get on the phone we just cannot strike conversation. I don't know if it's the age thing or what, but give me something to talk about. – Lisa B. Female, age 17, Cordova |
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Ask him what it's like to be old. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four months, we're in love, best friends, everything. I recently graduated from college and am trying to find a job somewhere new, and he's looking for a new job as well. We want to go somewhere together and live together. We've lived together for a short time already, and it was perfect. I know it's a big step, but we think we're ready. Do you think it's too soon? – Ready for the next step Female, age 22, USA |
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Gosh, no! Just keep the finances separate. |
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Sounds good. |
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Well of course it was "perfect" when you lived together for a short time - it's only been "almost" four months!!! Read your question again and I think you'll find the answer. |
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Dear Panel, What is platonic friendship? – Mukul Male, age 19, Eastern |
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Platonic means no "romantic" physical or emotional involvement. |
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Purely spiritual; friendly and loving. |
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HOLA! My name is Kayla I am 14 and I have a big problem! I think I am pregnant and I don't know what to do. My sister got pregnant at a young age also, and she hid it and almost died! If I am pregnant I think I want to hide it from my mom for a while, but I am so afraid that something will happen to me that happened to my sister. Please give me some advice. Thanks a lot, – KAYLA Female, age 14, USA |
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You need to talk to a real person who can help, not us. Call or visit Planned Parenthood in your city or town, or a OB-GYN doctor, or even a school counselor. You will eventually have to tell your mom. Hurry!!! |
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Make sure you are – then tell your mom ASAP! |
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Hmm...hiding pregnancy...doesn't sound like a good idea. How mad will your mom be when you just give birth at the dinner table with no warning? |
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Dear Panel, I just want to ask if it's really not proper for an instructor to be linked with his student? – Airam Male, age 17, Philippines |
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It's not. |
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Dear Panel, I am an 18 year old female in a relationship of 1 1/2 years. I have a boyfriend of 19 who has a sexual history. I learned about my boyfriend receiving oral sex and giving oral sex to another female and it really bothers me to the point I get frustratred with him over it. I realize he wasn't with me at the time, and it's in his past, but where I have never experienced anything, he has, and I experienced all my firsts with him, it seems to hit me really hard when we talk about it or I think about it. What can I do, other than not think about it to stop hurting myself so much by the situation?? – Confused Female, age 18, Canada |
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That's all you can do! You've gotta lighten up, kiddo. People have all kinds of different experiences. Are you also this upset about places he's been to that you haven't been? |
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Don't think about his past relationships. You're his now and everything has started over. If he really loves you, the girls in his past are exactly that – his past. |
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If you can't get over it, get over him. |
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Dear Panel, I have been seeing my girlfriend for a couple of months and think I love her. The other night we ran into her ex in a club. She says she doesnt know if she's over him or not and is confused. I didn't know how much I liked her till then. Now I'm all messed up. What do I do? – Confused in UK Female, age 23, UK |
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Tell her that she just got you confused too. |
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Now I'm confused. Do you like her or love her? |
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Dear Panel, I don't know if I like my boyfriend. I am so confused. How do you know if you like someone? I mean, we have only been going out 3 weeks, but I am so confused. – *~Gabby*~ Female, age 15, USA |
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You don't like him. |
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You want to like him, so you are tyring to force yourself to feel something you don't feel. |
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Dear Panel, I'm 20 and I've been hanging out with a 17 year old girl. I think I developing feelings for her, but I keep thinking about the age difference. Should I tell her how I feel, or move on? Male, age 20, USA |
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Is she a mature 17? Oops, oxymoron. |
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Sure, tell her. Seventeen year olds love this stuff. And a three year age difference is getting less and less important as you get older. Especially once she's 18. |
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Tell her how you feel, but keep it friendly until she's 18. |
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Dear Panel, I have been talking to this guy who is 9 years older than me. He is really nice and we like each other but I just feel weird about dating someone so much older. Should I ignore my feelings of being uncomftorable and date him anyway? – Angela Female, age 20, USA |
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Only if you normally date guys who make you feel uncomfortable. |
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One of my philosophies is that you should never ignore a gut feeling. Unless he is RICH and GOOD LOOKING, which never gets tired.
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Figure out WHAT makes you uncomfortable about his age, then decide . |
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Dear Panel, I am in love with a married woman and she loves me as well. We both know we can't go anywhere with the relationship, but it hurts us both to know we can't be together. Even more knowing that to even see each other could be dangerous. What do I do? – Parker Male, age 21, USA |
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The right thing to do is to break off seeing her. Which is not what you will do, I'm sure. I'm betting you continue to see her, tempt fate, get everything screwed up, and have 3 unhappy people. |
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It's not going to be easy, but MOVE ON ASAP! |
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Dear Panel, I have 4 married men interested in me. One of them, I was intimate with before I found out he was married. All of them are very persistant, and the one I slept with just won't go away. Why do I attract only married men? – Linda Female, age 30, Great Lakes Region |
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Because you make yourself available to them. Find your own man and quit being a homewrecker! |
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Dear Panel, How do I convince my boyfriend who I cheated on that I won't do it again? – Confused Female, age 17, Canada |
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It'll take time. Don't try to unless you know you won't. |
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Dear Panel, I have a problem with my boyfriend. I really care for him a lot, and am willing to do anything to be with him. He has friends who are bad influences on him. What should I do? His friends tell him to forget about me, and sometimes it really does seem that he doesn't care for me. He does bad stuff with his friends, like stealing and stuff like that. It also seems like he wants to ignore me, because whenever he sees me mad or sad, he acts the same. And he thinks that if he's sad, then I'll be sad too. So he stays away from me so that I won't be sad. What should I do? What should I tell him? Should I tell him that his friends are a bad influence on him? I hope you can help me with our relationship. I think he's the right one for me and I'm willing to do anything for him, but somehow, he doesn't know it. – Stacy Female |
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Well, I guess that's 2 to 1 then, because both he and I think he's not right for you. |
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I think HE is the bad influence on YOU. |
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You have a problem with your boyfriend, all right, but you also have something of a savior complex. Go ahead and tell him you think his friends are a bad influence, and then see what he does. Also think about whether an insensitive thief is really the right guy for you. |
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Dear Panel, Although I'm separated from my husband for 6 months, and he has a new relationship, why do I miss him as a soul-mate and friend? – Lou Female, age 32 |
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Because you still love and care about him. |
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I dunno, but a divorce might help. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have been going out for a week now. The relationship is fine. He doesn't want to rush into things. We're moving slow (just my paste). But his birthday is coming up and since we haven't been going out for that long, I don't know what to get for him. I need a gift that's not too expensive. I need serious help, please!!!! ASAP!!!!! – Erica Female, age 14, USA |
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A nice card and a CD or two would be cool. And by the way, how do you know he's your boyfriend if you've only been going out for a week? "Going slow" takes on a whole new meaning. |
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Ask HIM what he wants for his birthday. |
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Choose something individual that says you know him or a CD single he wants, a T-shirt he would wear, a cap and those sort of things that aren't too expensive. |
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Dear Panel, I love a girl and she loves me, but she doesn't want to say that. How I can make her say it? – Shero Male, age 18, Home |
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Put on a little puppet glove, hold it in front of her, and say, "I love you" in a high tone of voice. |
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Gee, aren't you Mr. Know-It-All? If she does love you, she'll say it. |
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Sorry, that's the last question
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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