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Dear Panel, What do you do if you're in a relationship with a woman whom you love and who totally adores you, and you're still in love with your ex-girlfriend from six years ago? – Plagued With Memories Female, age 25, USA |
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You bang your head against a hard place until your thinking improves a little. |
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If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one your with. (stolen from song) |
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Dear Panel, I do not often fall in love, or meet someone I find special in "that way". Last weekend I went to a party with a guy I thought I was in love with. Suddenly I saw another guy (x), there was something about him, I can't explain it. The trouble is that he is a friend of x, and he also has a girlfriend. I know it is impossible, but I just can't seem to shake this feeling. I have his number, but I don't know what to do. – Marie Female, age 19, Norway |
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How often do you fall in "lust"? |
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x-GF = x+u |
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Dear Panel, What do you think about a older women (30-something) dating a younger man (20-something - about 9 years apart)? Can it work out in the long haul? – Hmmmgirl Female, age 32, Virginia |
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In the long haul, everyone is dead. Especially that old gal. |
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With love, anything is possible. |
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Dear Panel, I have a presentation and I would like to ask why they call a couple with big age gaps as May-December Romance? Thanks. – JNG Female, age 19, Philippines |
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In our hemisphere, May is spring (youth) and December is winter (old age). Maybe you had to be there. |
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Dear Panel, I recently began seeing this woman from work. I have not really dated before, and she is divorced and has a 3 1/2 year old daughter. We have had lunch, and been over to each other's apartment with nothing else happening. The other day we went shopping and she helped me pick out some new, different clothes. Now, I did want to get these clothes, but needed someone to help me out. Is this a sign she likes me, or will she think I am just gullible? – Not Sure Male, age 33, Maryland |
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It's a sign she likes you in different clothes. |
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Gullible? No. Platonic? Probably. Want more? Ask for real date! |
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Why don't you just ask her what her feelings are and stop wasting time asking a bunch of unbiased non-professionals? |
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Dear Panel, I call my boyfriend too often. He gets upset with me and this causes tension between us. How much or how little should I call him to say "Hello, I love you"? Please tell me. – Katherine K. Female, age 23, Canada |
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Call him when you have something to say that you haven't said yet that day. |
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Call him as often as he finds pleasant. Anything more than that is too much. |
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I would be annoyed with you, too, if you called me a lot. Call him about twice a day. If you want to say "hello" or "I love you", try writing him notes – they are less aggravating. |
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You need to find a boyfriend who likes to hear "hello" and "I love you". |
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Dear Panel, I need to know how to be able to start trusting my boyfriend. It's nothing he did to make me not trust him or anything any other guy has done, but for some reason I constantly worry about him leaving me or cheating on me. He always tells me how gorgeous I am and that we're going to get married and have 2 kids and all that fun stuff. I just always worry that he is mad at me or doesn't love me anymore or something bad is going to happen even though he always reasures me that it isn't. Please help me. – Confused Female, age 23, Western USA |
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Its called jealousy and obsesion. I went through that before. Don't worry about him cheating or anything, as long as he is by your side. |
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Honey, your problems are WAY beyond my realm of expertise. How does one deal with the perfect boyfriend? |
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Stop. Just stop. |
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Dear Panel, Should one be jealous of his/her's partner's past relationships? – Dasani Female, age 22, USA |
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No, one shouldn't. Is one? |
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What's past is passed. Isn't there enough to worry about in the present? |
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The only things you need to know about past relationships:
End of story, otherwise you find it's the end of your relationship. |
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Only if you're looking for a short, bitter relationship. |
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Dear Panel, I love my fiancé very much and we'll be getting married next year. The problem that has been bugging me is that he loves to look at other woman whenever we go out. I just hate it so much whenever he does that and we always have a big argument after that. I am not trying to be a brag here, but many people, our friends and relatives say that I am attractive looking. So why in the world is he doing that?? I told him about my feelings towards this matter but until now, there is no change in him. Please advise. – Smoochie Female, age 24, Singapore |
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Start openly ogling attractive men in his presence. Then see if he can make the connection. If not, drop him and get someone smarter – and more respectful. |
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Dear Panel, Me and my boyfrend have been together 6 months. I really do trust him. I don't think he would ever do any thing to hurt me. I just don't like the fact he talks to a lot of girls gives them his number. He says they have been friends. They usually don't have a real good reputation, if you know what I mean. I don't think he would do anything without breaking up with me. Why does he have to talk to them? – Just Wondering Female, age 20, Florida, USA |
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Because life would be pretty lonely without talking to anyone else but you. |
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Dear Panel, I am 19, and the guy I am interested in is only 17. We were together until his parents made us break up. He says he still wants to be with me, but he won't commit. He is my best friend, and he says I am his. We kind of have a open relationship, I guess you could say. We have currently started sleeping together, and he has become a lot more loving toward me, but he still won't commit, but says when he is ready I am the one he wants to spend forever with. Should I wait for him to grow up, or should I move on? I truly love him, but I am not sure if he is with me for me or sex. – Confused Female, age 19, USA |
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If you already have an open relationship, then you can see other people while waiting for him to grow up. Best of both worlds.
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Here's a way to find out: Chop of his **** and if he is just as loving without said appendage, he loves you and you should stay with him. You should probably keep the little thingy on ice though, 'cuz you're gonna want to reattach that. |
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Dear Panel, My old girlfriend recently dumped me, the funny thing is, I don't feel hurt. Because there is this new student that is very, very cute. I asked her out but she said I have to calm down. I am naturally aggressive. I have been involved in six fights under a period of two weeks. I have now received a one week suspension and I am trying to adjust my temper. I was wondering how and what things I could get her? Money is not a problem. – [D3j@vU] Male, age 13, Chiang Mai, Thailand, S.E. ASIA |
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Bud, you got a problem, and it's not the girl. Get some help for your temper and you'll get the girl, too. |
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I think you might be fighting to try and prove something. Girls don't like it, I have learned from a few experiences, me being from NYC. |
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First of all, go to anger management classes. Then realise money isn't going to be enough to impress a girl and you shouldn't use it to get someone interested in you. I think you should leave this girl alone. She doesn't need you and your problems. If she is "very, very, cute", then I'm sure she can find someone who can treat her better. After a few months when you have learnt not to be so agressive, then go out and find a girlfriend.
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Dear Panel, What does a woman "want" to hear when they ask "Why do you love me?" I love my girlfriend very much, I just want to say the right thing. – Roger Male, age 26, USA |
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The Truth. |
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Only you know why you love her, so tell her how you feel. |
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"Because you're smart, beautiful, honest, funny, and I love the way you make me feel..." BLAH BLAH BLAH. Or you could just tell her the truth. |
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This is a loaded question. Be very very careful when answering. How about, "For many of the same reasons you love me"? |
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Dear Panel, I met this girl who is 25 years old I am 23. She has 3 kids, single mom who is very bisexual. We had sex after 3 weeks, now she is pushing me away. I love this girl. She tells me now that she needs time out, that she is confused. I am stuck! My feelings are divided in two. Half of me says that she wants to work things out. The other half says to me she is just using me for money and a flaming passionate night of pleasure. – Leo Male, age 23, USA |
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Give her the space she wants. Date other people in the mean time. Who knows? You might meet someone better. |
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You love this girl and you've only known her for 3 weeks?! |
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Dear Panel, My name is John. I just turned 18 in May. My girlfriend's name is Jenn. She turns 16 in December. Jenn's mom is the other so-called important one. Me and my girl have been going out for about a month now and I have met her mom. We have not had any kind of sexual intercourse in this time. When her mom found out we were going out and we were not friends her mom would not allow her to see me at all. Her mom says that if I try to see her she will call the cops and have me arrested. Can she really have me arrested, and is it legal for us to date without having sexual intercourse? – John From Washington Male, age 18, Washington, USA |
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Did you just ask if it was legal to date without having intercourse? |
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I would sure hope that you didn't have any kind of sexual intercourse with her mom. |
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Dear Panel, About seven months ago I met a girl who just broke up. We've been going out until recently when she ended the relationship because I told her that I was a virgin. She said that she didn't want to be the one "teaching" me the various positions and foreplay. I was shocked and mad at the same time so I said mean things to her. I told her I was a virgin because I wanted her to know how special she was to me. I wasn't asking for sex, the topic just came out – the same time I found out she wasn't a virgin. I've never had a relationship end like this. I've been patient, respectful, and treated her extremely well. I'm wondering if she said this to get out of the relationship. If so, why? – ConfusedBigTime Male, age 23, USA |
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Don't matter why she said it; she's still out of the relationship. |
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Dear Panel, I have had a crush on this young lady for about 4 years, we were in a lot of the same classes during the time we were in school. We talked got along fine, and even when we weren't in class, was the same thing. Over the years I grew to like her more and more but never got to tell her because I am very shy when it comes to these things. But one day I decided to tell her, so I took the coward way out and wrote her a letter. I told her how I felt, and how everything came to be. I also asked her to write me back or even give me a call. But she never wrote back or even called. Should I be persistent and write her another letter, or back-off and forget about it all? – Curous Male, age 18, USA |
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Are those your only choices? No! Take secret choice 'C': Talk to her in person, alone, yourself! |
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Let it go. She is not interested. Sorry. |
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Dear Panel, My girlfriend stole my pants. She wears them to school and tells everyone I bought them for her. Now she has her eye on my favorite T-shirt. At this rate, I'll won't have any clothes by the end of this year. What should I do? – NO PANTS Male, age 15, Indiana |
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Make sure you have clean underwear. |
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She may be taking your clothes and wearing them to show off to everyone how close you two are and how she has such a great boyfriend. If it really bugs you though, and makes you feel uncomfortable, DON'T invite her over to your house again because she may take something else. Stealing is a nasty thing for a girlfriend to do. If you get sick of it, dump her. |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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