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Dear Panel, I like this boy, but I don't think he likes me. He's really really cute and I can't talk to him. I can't even ask him out! I really want to be able to talk to him without felling shy. Plus I want to know what to say when a boy asks you out. – Tasya Female, age 14, Eastern USA |
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Practice makes perfect. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have broken up and got back together 3 times, but we broke up again yesterday for the fourth time, and I'm debating whether or not we should get back together. We broke up because we were both mad over stupid things, and they didn't seem to get better. Yet I find myself thinking about him all the time, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm thinking about him, 'cause I still like him, or I'm just used to thinking about him. – Confused Female, age 16, Canada |
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You just can't take a hint, can you? If you thrive on stress and drama, by all means do it again. If not, get a clue and find someone you can actually stand to be with. |
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Dear Panel, How long will me and Jeremy last? – Sweetlips Female, age 20, USA
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As long as you both still like each other, perhaps? |
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Until Jeremy finds out you've been writing to Love & Learn about him. |
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Dear Panel, I am 18 and I have never, and I mean NEVER had a boyfriend. I am sure this is not normal and it is really getting me down. All my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends and I can't help feeling like there is something wrong with me. I thought that at least by now, someone would have come along, but they haven't. As a result, my self confidence is low and I feel depressed at times. I cant help it and I don't know what to do. Now there is a guy I know and I really like him, but because I have never had a boyfriend before and have been rejected and humiliated in the past, I am terrified to make a move what can I do? Please help me! – Jen Female, age 18, England |
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Oh trust me, it's normal. If I didn't have a knack of catching my female friends on the rebound, I'd be where you are... only up by a year. |
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Give him a compliment, watch his reaction. Talk to him. |
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Maybe this guy's finally the right guy. Try it or you'll never know. |
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Dear Panel, I have some concerns about polyamory. That's multiple adult relationships, or as my mother used to call it, "playing the field". I have some friends who swear by it, and have group marriages and everything. What do you think? – PolyPersonMaybe? Female, age 32, Oregon, USA |
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I think more people probably swear at it than by it. But it sure sounds good. |
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I have some concerns about polyamory too. Like child support? Estate planning? STDs? How do you share intimacy with a group? Are your friends in group marriages happy or just scared of the alternatives? |
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Dear Panel, I am a very jealous girl. I have only fallen in love once. Obed is a very jealous guy and he runs from problems just like me. He loves to hide his feeling no matter what he feels. Me and Obed broke up 1 year ago because I would talk to my friend about what our intimate relationship was like. He didn't like that so he started to date my best friend. Now I heard they had broken up. I begged him for a long time to get back with me and he wouldn't. Now I moved on and I tell myself that I don't feel anything for Obed anymore. I haven't seen him for a while now. Edison and I are dating now. But I heard that Obed has been asking my friends for me and that he has been looking for me lately. What should I do about this situation? I don't want to get hurt. – ButterflyFemale, age 16, Downey, California |
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Lesson 1: Never beg. |
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Dear Panel, Why is it illegal to have sex with a guy that is an adult when you are not? If you love him it really shouldn't matter. It's not like he is forcing you. If you say yes, then it shouldn't be rape. – Berli Female, age 15, USA |
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Try studying the words "consensual" and "coercion" as they apply to minors. They're also good spelling words. |
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In the eyes of the law, you are a minor, and don't have the legal capacity to consent to anything. Since you can't legally give consent, it becomes sex without consent, which in most states constitutes rape. Also see: |
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Dear Panel, I'm involved in a long distance relationship (LDR). I'm in Memphis, she's in St. Louis. How do you decide who moves to who? Her job keeps her there. I've get a good job, apartment, family that I care for (medically). She's patient, but says the LDR can only be satisfying for so long. What should I do? Toss a coin?? – LEEN Male, age 32, USA
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Memphis to St. Louis is hardly what I consider a "long distance relationship". The two of you need to decide who has the more fluid lifestyle and who would be willing to move. The real question you should be asking yourself is whether or not there is enough substance and mutual dedication to make it work. |
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If LDR could be LTR, she should, otherwise move on. |
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No, someone needs to make a sacrifice/compromise. Someone needs to figure out what's more important: being with the other person, or the other things (job, family, etc.) Either one of you can/will eventually make a choice. |
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If you both can't agree to negotiate and set priorities making your relationship the topmost, then just arm wrestle for it. |
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Dear Panel, I was just wondering if there's a possibility of my ex-boyfriend feeling strongly about me ever again. We broke up after 6 1/2 months because he felt things
weren't exciting anymore. We're still good friends, though. – Wanting to Know Female, age 16, Canada |
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No, won't work. Find someone else. |
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Dear Panel, I'm a freshman in high school and there is this junior I like and he likes me, too. He wants to be best friends with someone before he goes out with them. The problem is we don't have any classes together and he doesn't like to write letters. Please help me. What should I do? – Christine Female, age 15, USA |
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Ever heard of a telephone, or lunch hours??? |
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Dear Panel, I am only 15, but I am in love with my boyfriend. Do you think I am to young to be in love??? – Wondering Female, age 15, USA |
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You're not too young to think you're in love. And isn't love a state of mind? |
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Dear Panel, My girlfriend and I have been together for a great 10 months now, but there's a problem. Just last month she tells me she likes another guy, but she still loves me and wants to be with me. I feel like the other guy has something I don't that she wants. I need some advice on this, she has liked him ever since the summer of last year, but has liked me ever since middle school. Now we're in high school, 10th grade. What am I to do? – BNizzle Male, age 15, USA |
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Wait stupidly around for her to dump you for some better guy she's decided to like. |
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Other guys always have something you don't have: they're not you. Are there any other girls that you like too? It sounds like you both might want to test the water. |
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Dear Panel, Why do you think that so many high school relationships simply don't work? – Redhead in Mich Female, age 18, USA |
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Because they're being handled by high school students. Here's one for you, though: Because they're behaving like high schoolers! Ha! |
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Dear Panel, I am 15 years old, in 10th grade and totally crazy over this guy. Alan is a senior and he sits next to me in my 6th hour. Well, me and Alan are kinda friends, we have only known each other for a little over a month. And I am just starting to really like him. Well last night was our school's Homecoming Dance, and I went with out a date, but I really looked beautiful -- a lot of people were telling me that I was gorgeous (which is a surprise because I never really got that from anyone). Well Alan comes up to me and just stares and then tells me that he has to dance with me, even though he brought a date. Well a little while later, he comes up to me grabs me by the hand drags me to the dance floor and well we danced, pretty erotically. Well while we our dancing he tells me that he should've asked me to the dance because he has liked me for a while. And wants to be more then just friends. Well then he tells me that he was goin' to go ditch his date to be with me. But then ends up leaving with her, without even saying good-bye to me. Does he really want to be with me or did he just want to hurt me? – Tracy...Confused Female, age 15, Michigan |
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Hey, you looked so good that night, who cares about this guy? Just go out and dazzle someone else who isn't so weird. |
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Dear Panel, I am married and because a lot of things that I've been through with my husband, I believe I have fallen out of love with him. I don't love him anymore. I don't wish to make love with him and I really don't wanna be his wife anymore. What should I DO? – K.S.M Female, age 20, Denmark |
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Have you ever heard of the word "divorce"? Or is that an American thing? |
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Grow up!!! You decided to get married while you were still a teenager so live with that decision. Marriage isn't all fun and games girl. |
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If you have tried and it has failed – get out! |
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Find a marriage counselor quickly. And tell your husband. He needs to know. |
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Dear Panel, I am a 19 year old girl, I've never really had a really serious relationship, but I had a very hard time getting over my ex-boyfriend, but now we are like best friends. Andrew is the main guy, he works with me, that's how we met. Jenn is his ex-girlfriend, they went
out for 2 years, but have been apart for 6 months. Everything was going fine, but then he called me and said that he considers me a good friend, and he told me that he had been talking to Jenn about possibly getting back together. Every time they are together they fight, but I guess he thinks this time it will work for some reason. Even after they broke up they tried to date and it didn't work out. Andrew and I are still friends, because we do work together, so now we're just friends but he's about to start dating Jenn again. What advice should I give him about getting back together with her? – Lauren J Female, age 19, USA |
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Why not give him advice on other subjects and let him mess up his love life on his own? |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Lately we have been arguing a lot about his daughter he has not seen since she was born. He now wants to get into contact with his daughter and his ex and each time he brings it up I get angry. Am I being overly jealous, or is it normal to have something like this bother you? – Dalken Female, age 23, Germany |
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It would normally bother me more that he hasn't seen his own daughter since she was born. |
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Your hon has some urgent unfinished business. Let him finish. |
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You are being overly jealous. Let that man be a father to his kid! Kids do need their fathers. Get over yourself. |
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Dear Panel, I've been going out with this guy for about a month. He's a very nice guy and he's very serious about me and sincere. I really like him. BUT I have a lot of issues in my life, and don't feel like I can handle a relationship yet, but I don't want to end whatever I have with him, although its obviously heading down that road. What can I do? – Hate_Being_Confused Female |
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Is it at all possible that he can help you with your issues? |
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Take it easy, if he really cares he'll understand! |
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If he really likes you he should be willing to wait for you. |
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Dear Panel, What do I do when I find out my boyfriend has cheated on me? – Danielle Female, age 16, USA |
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Write to Love & Learn. Then dump him. |
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Say "bye bye" unless you like being with a guy you can't trust. |
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Dump him! |
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Sorry, that's the last question
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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