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Dear Panel, There is this guy I like. It's been 5 weeks since we were introduced to each other. He doesn't seem to like me, notice me for that matter. He plays football and strangely is not conceited or obsessed with girls and drinks. Tell me how to get close to him. My roommate is pretty good with him, so she can help if needed. – Zbunjena Female, age 19, Utah |
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Pretend you're a boy? |
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Dear Panel, I'm scared that losing my virginity will hurt and it puts me off completely, but I really think I'm ready. – EE Female, age 16, UK |
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You're not ready. |
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Dear Panel, I am Puerto Rican. I am neat, I keep my word, I love to death, I am liable. He is Puerto Rican. He is messy, unreliable and deceives me. I am 19 years old. I've been living with my boyfriend for a year now and recently moved to an apartment of my own. Lately I've seen changes in the relationship, by surprise I'm the one that has changed. I don't want him close to me I do not wish to hear him. His presence pisses me off. On the other hand I love him and respect
him and our relationship was the coolest. Please help me. Should I dump him? – Antigona Female, age 19, Puerto Rico |
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Yes. You're young, you've changed and grown, and will continue to do so. Dump this guy and search for someone who loves the new you, and who you love. |
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Only dump him if his presence pisses you off and you don't want to be near him. Oh, yeah, I guess that's an affirmative. |
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Dear Panel, I fell in love with this guy, then I found out what a player he was. My question is will they ever change? I mean, you can never really change a person, can you? – Katie Female, age 19, The Jersey Shore |
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He may change, but you can't make him. Don't hold your breath. |
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Dear Panel, I have a Chinese boyfriend. He is sexy so he says, but I am very afraid of walking in a mall with him holding his hand because everyone doesn't know that I really like Chinese people a lot and that they would make fun of me. Please HELP ME. – Monica Female, age 15, South Africa |
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It's tough being your age and being so dependent on what other people think. Figure out what makes you happiest – being with your guy, or not having "everyone" (not your friends, surely?) make fun of you. |
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If you like him so much, then you shouldn't care what people think. |
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Dear Panel, Just a quick question: What does it mean when a guy says that
he thinks you are hot, but he's not sure if he likes you, but he tells
your friend this and tells her not to tell you what he says? Female, age 17, Eastern North America |
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It means he's a high school guy. |
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I think you need to find a guy mature enough to tell you what he thinks all by himself. |
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It means you should look for another guy who can actually make up his mind. |
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Dear Panel, I think I'm a lesbian, but I'm only 12. I find some of my friends who are girls hot. What do you think? Please help. – KAILEY Female, age 12, USA |
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Time will tell – I think some women are hot, but I'm heterosexual. |
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Dear Panel, I have dated probably 4 - 5 girls over and over again for the last 3 years, but never settled down even though I have seriously wanted to. I have never pushed the envelope with any of these girls to see if they are interested in me for more than just a friendly relationship even though they continually are going on exclusive dates with me. I am very much afraid of finding out how they feel about me, both because if I ask I may lose their friendship and because I don't want to handle the rejection if it comes. Am I wrong to continually see these girls on a one on one basis to explore who they are even though it may be putting me or them through some emotional turmoil? Please help. – Josh Male, age 21, California
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Not if you're a masochist! |
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Isn't "dating" defined as the act of going through "emotional turmoil"? |
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Dear Panel, I'm currently seeing a older man, and he told me that he has hardly any sex drive. I'm 24 and he's 40. What should I do? – In Need!!! Female, age 24, Canada |
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Don't worry until you hit your sexual peak at 36. But he'll be dead by then. |
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Play with boys your own age. |
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Think long and hard about whether this is the right relationship for you. |
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It depends. Is sex important to you? Is he willing to have sex with you enough to satisfy you? If he can't satisfy you, you have no long term future together as anything other than friends. |
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Dear Panel, How do you know if you're falling out of love with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Are there any signs to look for? And if you are, what should you do about it? – Heartbroken Female, age 20, USA |
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You're falling out of love if you think you are. One sign is writing to Love & Learn. Make sure you have enough sex to carry you over to the next relationship. |
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Dear Panel, I am a teenage female and am in my last year of high school. He is a teenage male who is attending his first year of university out of town. We had a good relationship during the summer and were very close. We ended the relationship because of the distance but decided to keep in touch and maybe visit. He was very short with me during the first month he was gone (ICQ,phone calls etc.). When he returned we had a big fight and he said many hurtful things regarding me and our relationship. We decided to be friends, but so far it is very awkward and it is like we are enemies. How do I deal with the a breakup and how should I act around him? – Still Hurt Female, age 17, Canada |
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You should act like a mature individual who is disappointed that a wonderful relationship did not work out. Or be a teenager and say hurtful things back to him. |
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Dear Panel, I have a male friend from years ago, but my fiancé is very insecure and gets mad when I speak to anybody male! This upsets me because I would never cheat or jeopardize our relationship. What can I do? I never see my male friend anymore, but call him once every two to three months. – Alexis Female, age 25, UK |
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Why on earth are you engaged to him?? |
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Talk to your male friends and let your fiancé get mad. It seems like a much better situation, especially if he gets mad enough to call things off. |
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Since men are about half the population, it seems that you're in a tough spot if your fiancé gets mad when you talk to a man. |
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Have you given him any reason to be insecure? |
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Dear Panel, My husband doesn't want to come with me to my family because he doesn't speak the language, but I don't like it. What do you think?? – Sunflower Female, age 21, Europe |
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I think if you didn't like it enough, you might teach him the language. |
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Did he not realize that he didn't speak your family's language when he married you? I think he's being a jerk. You shouldn't have to choose between your husband and your birth family over an issue like language. Teach him some, translate some, and tell him to come along. |
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Dear Panel, I have been dating this guy for about a month, but we just broke up because he was cheating on me. I still have feelings for this guy. I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He called me and told me he was very sorry and that he still loved me and that he didn't want us to break up. I really miss him and all I ever do is think about him. I think of his face, his voice, and how he treats me. He wants me back, but I don't know what to say. What should I say to him? Should I let my heart win against my mind. If I take him back, he might do the same thing. But on the other hand, if I take him back he might be good to me. Please Help!!!!!!! – Hopeless Female, age 14, USA |
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Find someone you can trust and keep away from this guy. |
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If "cheating" consists of going out with other girls, at age 14, I think it's probably OK. Why don't you practice "cheating" around a little before you decide to develop more angst? |
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Dear Panel, I am a sweet person with too much love for my friends. I love people and now I feel I don't know who to trust. There are 3 guys involved, and my best friend, Barbie. It all started will a wonderful bond of what I thought was true friendship with the five of us,we could do anything and talk about anything and at the time it seemed that "our boys" really cared and loved me and Barbie. One night me and Barbie decided to have a ladies night, when our plans changed because "our boys" wanted to see us. We then went to Boy 1's house where they had wine and sherry - it seemed as though it was a usual night, until they told me and Barbie to take our clothes off for them and Barbie and myself thought of it as a laugh and purely a friendship thing - stupid us. Our clothes were off and they started saying "Come on guys, we love you and we are all friends come on make us happy and kiss each other." We did, this Barbie and then they started saying they wanted us to lick each other, the stupid thing is Barbie and I felt that they would be pissed off if we didn't so we did. "Our boys" took photos of us (nude/ porn photos). I felt that they really care, but hey we all know what thought did. The following night, the same thing happened. The weeks that followed, things changed. The boys became distant and cruel. Hundreds of people have seen the photos and many more have heard. We have now been called sluts. "Our boys" have now turned around and have spread rumours.. Barbie and I feel so angry and I just want to get back at them no matter the cost. We feel raped and hurt!!!! What can Barbie and I do? Legal or otherwise. – Emotionally Raped Female, age 16, South Africa |
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Tell your parents. Call a lawyer. Get counseling. And don't do it again. |
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Dear Panel, When is a good time to get married? – Mary Jones Female, age 18, USA
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For me, about 12 years ago. |
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Afternoons are good, because you don't have to spend so much money on food. |
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After you've been asked. |
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After someone asks you, AND you feel like saying yes. |
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Sorry, that's the last question
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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