Dear Panel,

If your boyfriend is not sure if he want's to go out with you, should you bother?

– Leanne

Female, age 17, Canada

No.

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Dear Panel,

I'm a 19-year-old guy who only had one girlfriend in the past 3 years. I have to admit that I don't have the physical looks to attract girls because I'm just an average looking guy. But the thing is, I believe that I am pretty good with girls.

I can make them happy, sad and make them laugh. All the girls I know like to hang out with me. They say I am very fun to be around. The problem is that none of them want to go out with me. I've tried a few attempts but was rejected. They would rather stay friends then become lovers.

Honestly, I don't understand! Why don't they want want go out with me? Fair enough I don't have the looks, but I'm sure my personality makes up for it. What can I do to get girls to like me and be willing to go out with me?

– Anonymous

Male, age 19, Australia

I think it's ALL about looks. Mr. Sensitive thinks it's ALL about
personality. Either get some plastic surgery, or go to Toastmasters. Or both.

Try being a total ass. It works for most guys.

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Dear Panel,

I have been having family problems with my two female cousins. How can I reply to them stating that I will move on with my life without them. I am tired of being insulted and ill-treated by their nasty words.

– EP

Female, age 21, Caribbean

State exactly what you told us.

Don't bother replying. Ever. They'll eventually get the message.

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Dear Panel,

Andrew (my boyfriend) and I have planned when we get older to get married. Do you think we will?

– Carol

Female, age 15, United States

Do you believe in statistics or true love? Your choice.

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Dear Panel,

I was dating my now ex for close to 5 years before we broke up. During our relationship, we were very close. He and I have similar career goals and he taught me a lot, especially in that area. Ultimately, the ending of our relationship was best for both of us, although it was difficult at the time. There was nothing actually WRONG with our relationship, but he was turning emotionally abusive and we started arguing more than was healthy.

Since that time, he, possibly due to hurt feelings (although he initiated much of the breakup), contacted me semi-frequently for what seemed to be no other reason than to tell me something insulting. For example, that the man I was dating was only doing so because he wanted a "younger piece of stuff" (that same man and I have now been dating for almost 2 years), that I was suffocating my new boyfriend, etc.

Considering the fact that there was no communication between us in the interim, I found it laughable that he would/could make such comments, especially since he is now dating someone who he apparently is very much in love with.

Because we had such a great friendship, part of me misses him intensly, but I am not willing to deal with his abuse to regain that. However, he recently contacted me, telling me that he wanted to meet for lunch.

I asked him for his motivation, simply because I wanted to hear what made him want to see me again. I know that things are going well with his new girlfriend, so I am not worried about that. When I asked him, he said it was because he had returned from a long trip and I was on his "list of people to contact". (Personally, I would have rather heard that he wanted to try to reinitiate our friendship.)

So, my two questions are this:

• 1. Is it a good idea to try the lunch thing, or not?
• 
  2. What do you think is his issue?
  

Thanks.

– Marcie

Female, age 25, California

1. No.
2. I don't care & neither should you.

I have 2 questions for you:

1. Is he paying for the lunch? :)
2. Is his annoying brand of "friendship" really worth your effort?

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Dear Panel,

Is it wrong to flirt on the net when my fiancee is not home and will not be, for about a week at a time?

Female, age 20, Western Ohio

Absolutely! It's wrong.

Flirting is harmless, just as long as it doesn't turn into real feelings.

Is the issue flirting on the net, or doing it when he's not home?
Perhaps the question you ought to be asking is how you would feel if you found out he was doing what you're doing. If you'd be hurt, then assume he would be, and don't do it.

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Dear Panel,

I'm 12 and I wanna know how to get a girlfriend before I'm out of 6th grade because I get made fun of a lot and I get in trouble a LOT. Nobody even notices me so I'm asking if you can tell me how to meet girls in my school.

Thanks.

– Dan

Male, age 12, U.S.A.

Why don't you try to get a few guy friends first? It's a better thing to have some buds before you get out of grade school then to go out with some icky girl.

Try joining other school activities, you're bound to meet someone!

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Dear Panel,

I have recently become involved with a bloke who I was first friends with, then went further with. He's perfect for me. I have started to fall in love with him and I know he feels the same way. But he is resisting from allowing it to develop into a relationship. I don't understand why because I know how we feel and how it seems so right.

What can I do?

– Katoire

Female, age 18, UK

You can start by making sure he feels the same way you
think he does.

Maybe he isn't ready to commit, don't push him...

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Dear Panel,

Why doesn't somebody wants me?

– Sharon

Female, age 16, Europe

Grammar?

Lots of people do. Problem is, it's a big world, and you haven't been able to find each other yet. Keep looking, and enjoy the search.

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Dear Panel,

The most common phrase girls use to describe me is, 'he's a really great guy but...'. I myself can't pin it down, but there seems to be something about me that turns girls off. I'm not ugly, but nothing special either. Facially, I suppose I'm attractive in a 'plain' way.

I'm always polite with the girls I meet, but not to the extent where I'm no longer fun. I never try to impress my friends by doing stupid things, and always try and do the 'right thing', never taking advantage of girls when they are drunk, etc. And I have no trouble making close friends with the opposite sex. In fact, most girls say they trust me more than any other guy they know, sometimes even more than their own boyfriends!

But when it comes to taking it beyond friendship, something seems to put them off. I've tried with girls I've been good friends with, distant friends, girls I've only just met, and they all seem to have a problem with me.

My only workable theory is that my height is the problem- I stand just over five feet, which isn't fun when it means that almost every girl I meet is at least a few inches taller than me.

So...what's my problem?

– B

Male, age 16, England

Beats me, you sound like a pretty good guy. Why not try smaller women?

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Dear Panel,

I'm 14 and I think I'm in love with my student teacher who is 25. When I think of him my stomach does a flip flop, and when I see him it's like I need air because I'm hyperventilating.

I guess my question is: how am I supposed to deal with this? I know if I do something about this feeling he can get in trouble and I don't want this.

– Confused Beauty

Female, age 14, Canada

You're not in love, but it sounds like you do have a serious crush.

This is called a crush. It's normal. Don't do anything about it except enjoy the fantasy. And pay good attention in class - you ought to learn a lot!

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Try TELLING him about you.

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Dear Panel,

I want to break up with this guy, he says he doesn't want to live with out me. He says he loves me all the time. How do I break up with him and still be friends?

– Help Me

Female, age 15, New Zealand

You break up with him as nicely as possible. Whether you're still friends after that is up to him.

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Dear Panel,

I'm a 20-year-old and a college student. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and am very much in love.

We are both virgins, before I met him I didn't believe in sex before marriage. Now that I have met him I am sure we will marry, but this won't be for a number of years since we are at universities 200 miles away from each other.
I want to have sex with him and only him I feel ready, we are prepared and I know he wants me as much as I want him. BUT...

I still have all these anxieties about it, pain and feelings changing and all that. I feel awful messing him about, saying yes and then no but I can't help it. I've tried to talk to him but he doesn't seem interested anymore because it's just the same old thing as far as he's concerned. What should I do?

– Lolly

Female, age 20, UK

He should be patient. You MUST feel ready.

You obviously aren't as ready as you thought you once were.

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Dear Panel,

I want to get it on with ma boyfriend, but he says he wants a threesome, but I don't swing dat way. Ya know? How do I tell him? It should be no shit sherlock, right?

– NonSwinger

Female, age 17, United States

If'n he was Sherlock, he wudda had a clue! Am I right? Treat him like dat Watson guy, and tell him like you sees it.

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Sorry, that's the last question.

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