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Dear Panel, My boyfriend wants me to give him either a hand job or a blow job. I'm afraid. I know I want to, but can you tell me how to do this? – Babygurl Female, age 15, East Coast |
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If you don't know, you're too young. |
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Dear Panel, I was interested in this guy from work. We talked a lot and he seemed interested and very flirty. We talked about stuff that made me want him even more. But then he said he was in a tough situation with his ex. Now, about a month later, he is back with his ex. Did he ever have feelings for me or will he ever again? – Crissy Female, age 17, United States |
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No and no. |
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Dear Panel, How do I win back a lost friend? – Me Female, age 17, New York |
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Don't you think that depends on why you lost him? |
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You can't win back a friend. A good one will come back to you on their own. |
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Dear Panel, I have crushes on heaps of guys. How do I forget about them? I need to because I'm falling in love with only one person. – Crystal Female, age 16, New Zealand |
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You probably can't. But you can treat that one person as if you could. |
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Dear Panel, My husband recently went on a business trip. One other person who he works with went on this trip as well. She is married. His flight back was on Sunday. Saturday they spent the day together seeing different sights in town. Saturday was also our 7th wedding anniversary. My husband called me that morning before they went out. Late that evening he still had not called me though. Being our anniversary I thought he would call. I had to call her hotel room to find him that night around 10:30 pm. He said that they had just got back. I really don't think that he cheated on me. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. But if they spent ALL DAY together he should have gone to his room not hers. I feel that was disrespectful to me.
He feels that since he's not cheating and they are just friends, that
he has done nothing wrong even though I am very hurt by this. He even
said that he would do this again, even though he knows that I am very
upset about this. What should I do? Who is right? Female, age 29, USA |
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Cheating...thoughtless...cheating...thoughtless. Is it about being right, or about compromising and caring for each other? |
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You ought to grow up a little, and he needs to learn a bit more sensitivity. YOU: don't take it so personally that he spent time with another when he was out of town. How should he spend a free day out of town? Alone in his hotel room? Would that make it a better anniversary? HIM: he ought to think a bit before he opens his trap to say "I'd do it again, even though it makes you upset". Jeez. Next time he's out of town on your anniversary, why not splurge on a plane ticket as a present and enjoy a few hours together wherever he is. |
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Dear Panel, I really like this guy. I gave him my number and told him to call. It's been a week and he hasn't called. Should I call him or forget about him? – Chantale S. Female, age 16, North America |
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Forget him, he's already forgotten you. |
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Dear Panel, My friend's boyfriend just broke up with her, he said he needed more time, but I think it's for another girl. I don't want to tell her that. They've been together for 5 months. What should I tell her? – Mcprnces Female, age 16, North America
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Nothing. |
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Dear Panel, I'm 21 and he is 34. Is this too much of an age difference? I'm not currently involved with him, but he recently told me that he loves me. I care very deeply for him, but the whole age thing really scares me. – Aimee Female, age 21, USA |
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Nope, you're both consenting adults. And the age difference matters less the older you get. Enjoy! |
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I'm 21, my husband's 40. Age is just a number! |
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Address your age difference concerns with him directly. Thirteen years is a big difference at your age now, but later in life it won't seem like that much. If mutual love, respect and friendship are present, it shouldn't matter. |
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Dear Panel, I was in a relationship for 15 months. Two months ago, even though she told me not to, I forced myself upon my girlfriend. There had been penetration before, but we had recently been discussing how she did not want to have sex with me. This unwanted penetration broke her hymen. We broke up four days later. I have, I think, acknowledged the fact that I am a rapist. How can I make peace with myself and help her to recover? – Anderson C. Male, age 17, New York |
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You can't help her to recover. She needs to do that all on her own. Make peace with yourself? Keep talkin' and thinking, and resolve never again to inflict violence on anyone. |
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I don't really think you should keep trying to talk to her, especially right away. Also, I think she has a right to be very emotional about this. Legally she isn't a virgin any more, soulfully, she is. |
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1) Stay the hell away from her. |
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Please seek therapy, and suggest same to her, with multitudinous apologies! |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend is mad at me but I don't know why. My friend said it's because I keep messing around with his friend. What should I do? – Mysterious24 Female, age 15, United States |
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Stop sending in ridiculous rhetorical questions? |
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Ask your boyfriend why he's mad at you. If it's because you're messing around with his friend, you might want to consider dropping that activity if you want to keep your boyfriend (or any boyfriend, for that matter). |
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Dear Panel, I met this guy on the 'net. He e-mails me regularly. I think I'm interested in him! What should I do? – Shraddha Female, age 17, India |
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I don't know, e-mail him back? |
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Write more letters and find out more about him before you do anything major. |
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Dear Panel, How long is too long to wait when you're trying to make a relationship work? The other person is hesitant about letting love into his heart. There is also another important factor. He has recently been incarcerated for at least 2 years. I would like to know how I can tell the difference between real love, and gratitude for me being one of the only people who is here for him through this very difficult time? Help! – T.A. King Female, age 30, USA |
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Start dating other guys who haven't been incarcerated and are open to a relationship. |
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Wait long enough until you know something for sure. And while you're waiting, don't do anything stupid like get pregnant or give him all your money. |
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Where did you get your rose colored glasses? They must be great because you can't see the fact that you are being played by a convict. (Hey, maybe if I got a pair I would see my boyfriend as Brad Pitt!) |
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Dear Panel, I am a 20-year-old virgin and I have been dating this guy for a little over a year. I really want to be with him. It's just that every time we try to have sex it hurts so much that I have to ask him to stop. What's up with that? How long does it hurt for? Is it a quick process? HELP! – Mad Virgin Female, age 20, New York |
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Are you sure he's doing it right?!? |
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Depends. If you made some bad choices, it'll hurt for a loooong time. |
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Usually it takes a couple of times before the pain goes away, it could also be because you are so nervous that your muscles are tense. Try letting him give you a full body massage and then having sex. Being relaxed helps a lot. |
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Dear Panel, I would like to know, how could I become a member and be on the panel with you guys? – Sherfreek Female, age 12, United States |
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Beats me. I was recruited. |
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I think I just became such a pest that they had to make me official. |
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Just fill out a panelist application. |
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Dear Panel, I have someone asking me out and being very pushy about it. I don't want to hurt his feelings by just coming out and saying that I am not interested in him. I've tried giving hints. Is there a magic response that will get the message across without hurting his feelings? I know at my age I should know how to do this, but I honestly don't. – Hate to Hurt Someone Female, age 37, United States |
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Sorry, there are no magic words. Just hurt his feelings. |
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Clearly he can't take a hint. You must be clear. However, you don't have to be mean. You can say "I'm really not interested in going out with you" in a tone that's not mean. In fact, it's probably more cruel to drop hints that he doesn't get - leading him on? |
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He's obviously a boor. Be blunt. Here are some options to consider:
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Sorry, that's the last question. Read the 16 Snappy Answers again
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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