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Dear Panel, Is it ever OK to date a friend's ex? – Meghan Female, age 18, Canada |
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It's always OK if you're prepared to deal with the consequences. |
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It can be, you have to check with the friend to see how she'd feel, and how you feel about whether your friendship ends if she hates you. As to how long, I'd imagine you can date the ex as long as you want to. |
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Don't bother. It's too much trouble. |
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Dear Panel, I just got into a relationship, and I want to make it last and work out. What are the key things that should be done? – Dean Male, age 19, USA |
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Don't screw up. |
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Two words: good communication |
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Remember these three things: "Listen with all your heart, hug with all your strength, and love like you've never loved before." |
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Dear Panel, I have been going out with someone for 7 months but the thing is, after a few weeks he got sent away. While he was gone I wrote him a letter saying that I think we should break up until he comes home. He never said anything about it. In fact, when he came home on a homepass he acted as if we never broke up. He was even saying stuff like, "if you ever cheat on me, I'll be heartbroken". Now he's coming home for good April 29th. Do you think I should wait for him or date around until then? We write 2-3 letters a week, and its all "I love you and miss you". What should I do? –Me Female, age 16, Poconos |
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I think you should date around, and then he would never have to be heartbroken because you wouldn't be cheating. |
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Dear Panel, How can I get my parents to let me out of the house without asking me a bunch of questions, so that I can go see my boyfriend? – Depressed One Female, age 16, Montana |
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Maybe you could get out of the house easier if you weren't going to see your loser boyfriend. |
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Dear Panel, I am a little overweight and I don't think I am pretty, but this guy I know is always looking at me. When I look over at him and he either looks away or keeps looking at me. Like I said, I am not very pretty so how do I know if he likes me or just likes to look at people? – AnonymousFemale, age 13, USA |
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I think he likes to look at you. |
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You could try starting a conversation with him. Pretty isn't everything - being interesting is way more important, and perhaps he finds you interesting. Plus, pretty is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps he finds you attractive as well! You'll never know unless you talk to him. |
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Maybe he sees something in you, that you don't. A beautiful person! |
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Dear Panel, Why does it seem like men want their way all the time? – Carol Female, age 41, Cincinnati, OH |
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Because they're men. |
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We all want to have our own way all the time. |
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Dear Panel, I get shy approaching my man for sex. Any advice on how to initiate it? – Frustrated
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Guys usually like it when you jump them. |
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Dear Panel, I have been friends with this guy for about 3 years now. I have had a huge crush on him since day one. I know he felt the same way just by the way he acted and people often thought we were going out. The only problem is that I am 18 and he is 15. I could really care less about the age difference. I don't know if he feels the same way, though. When someone told us that we would make a good couple, he said that I was 3 years older than him. I'm not sure if the age thing bothers him or if he was just saying that because he thinks that is the way I feel. I really like him though. What should I do? – Crushed Female, age 18, USA |
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The age thing bothers him...the age thing bothers me...the age thing would bother most people your age...why doesn't the age thing bother you? |
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Ask him out. The worst he can say is "no". Just don't sleep with him. |
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Since you're friends, you can talk directly to him about it. If he's not interested, you can always fall back to your friendship. |
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He's jail bait. Hold off honey. |
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Dear Panel, Please tell me what is love and why do we feel a difference between heart love and sex love? – Raja Male, age 24, Pakistan |
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Heart love feels good. Sex love feels better than good, but you have to clean up. |
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Stick with your heart love, you will feel better always. |
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Dear Panel, I'm 18 and I'm dating a 27-year-old man. He's very sweet and nice and never pressures me to do anything. But my mom doesn't want me to see him so I lied and said we broke up. We are still together and I lie when I go out to see him. What should I do? – Help Female, age 18, California |
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Better 'fess up, or move out so you don't have to lie. When I was 17 I dated a 26 year old, and my parents were cool with it (I think). Of course, he was a doctor, and they always wanted me to marry a doctor. |
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You're 18, it's up to you, talk to your mom. |
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Wait to date him until you're mature enough to feel that you can make decisions and stand by them. |
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I'd say tell your mom. Relationships may come and go, |
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Stop lying. |
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Dear Panel, I want to know when I'm going to fall in love. Do you think I'll find my soul mate soon and never feel wrong about myself ever again? – Jewski Female, USA |
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You'll fall in love when it happens. Probably not. And no. |
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Work on the feeling good about yourself. The rest may or may not follow but if you like yourself, it won't matter. |
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Dear Panel, I like this guy that I went to school with, though we didn't know each other well. Now he's in the military and comes into town almost every weekend to work on his car with my best friend's boyfriend. I live with them so I see him a lot. The more I see him the more I want to be with him. But I don't know where to start. We talk sometimes but not a lot and I know a lot of people will just say "tell him how you feel" but it's not that easy. How can I get him to notice me without throwing myself at him? – Confused Female, age 20, USA |
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Tell him that you feel like going to the movies with him. That should be enough feelings to start off with. |
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Dear Panel, I need to know were Taylor Edwards lives. He moved away and I need to know so I can visit him. – Mackenzie Female, age 19, USA |
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If he didn't let you know where he moved to, he might not be wanting you to visit him. |
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First, I don't know who Taylor Edwards is. Second, he could be in hiding. Maybe that's the reason he never told you where he was moving to. You should just move on. |
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Dear Panel, Do you think that it would be a bad idea to get into a relationship with a much older man? I am not sure if he is married. – Miss Pensive Female, age 20, California |
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How do YOU spell, "duh"? |
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I think the problem is considering a "relationship" with someone you know so little about that you don't even know if he's married or not. |
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Older man- not so bad. wreck a marriage- terrible! |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend does not call me or visit, and he's always giving excuses. Is he serious? – Nana Female, age 22, Ghana |
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Nope. |
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Seriously I don't think he's your boyfriend. |
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Dear Panel, My wife never wants to make love to me. She says it isn't me. She is just too tired from the day, or just doesn't even think about it. We wind up making love like once every two weeks. Is it wrong of me to want to make love to her more often then that? – Albert Male, age 22, America |
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It's certainly not wrong to want more. You might want to consider what you can do to help her. If she's still attracted to you, and the problem really isn't you. Be inventive (hint: it might involve you doing laundry, washing dishes, or taking her away for a weekend getaway). |
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It's funny, really, when women wonder why men go astray. |
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It's not wrong but it's all you're gonna get. |
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See Also: "How do I get my wife to make whoopie?" |
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Dear Panel, I had a fun time last night with this guy named Jon. We just met each other because he is a senior I am a freshman. We did a lot of stuff, but nothing too bad before we went to sleep. How can I show him that I like him with out making a fool out of myself? – Kelly Female, age 15 |
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He already knows you like him. Now be cool. |
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I'm glad you had a good time. You can let him know you like him by talking to him and going out with him. And by the way, if you have sex with him to show you like him, you will be making a fool out of yourself. Trust me. |
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Dear Panel, I like who he is but I don't feel sexually attracted to him. What should I do? – Catrin Female, age 21, Europe |
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Don't sleep with him. |
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Prepare the "just friends" speech. |
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See Also: Do I dump him if he's not handsome? Sorry, that's the last question. Read the 19 Snappy Answers again
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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