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Dear Panel, I've been in a relationship for three years and I love my boyfriend very much. However, things are getting really dull. We always fight, and the intimacy of our relationship is nonexistent. When I think of him, all I want is to be with him. But when we are together all we do is fight. I've been thinking of breaking it off for a long time but I am scared to be alone. What should I do? – Scared & Confused Female, age 20, Canada |
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Tell me again why you love him? (Leave out the "fear of being alone".) |
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Dear Panel, I am really confused on how I lose my virginity. Please help me. – Jess Female, age 15, Iowa |
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First, you wait until you're over 18, are in love and in a committed relationship. Once you're there, you'll be able to figure out the rest. Put another way, if you have to ask this question, you're too young to lose your virginity. |
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Losing it is easy, keeping it is the challenge. |
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Dear Panel, I have been dating my boyfriend for about two months. In this month our relationship has moved very quickly. I have really fallen in love with him and him with me. We want to move in together. I want to be with him all of the time and we want to get married. Is it too soon? I am 25-years-old and have been through other serious relationships, and this one feels very different. – Inge S. Female, age 25, Atlanta |
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Just to see if it's really too soon, why not wait one more month
and see how you feel. |
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Well, it worked for me! I moved in with the guy who's now my husband two weeks after we met. We were married nine months after we met, and are together almost 12 years now. The one thing I will say is that when you move fast, you spend a
lot of time getting to know each other after you're already married.
Be prepared to deal with surprises, some more pleasant than others. |
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Establish a financial plan if you're going to do it. Money is the easiest way to complicate and destroy a relationship. My guy moved in after 2 weeks and our only problems occur over dinero. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend of 2 years says I need to initiate sex more. How should I do that when I am used to him making the first move? – Confused Female, age 21, USA |
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You know those times you feel like having sex? Attack him. Easy and direct. |
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Dear Panel, I am from South Dakota. Is it illegal for me to have sex with my 16-year-old girlfriend? I am 20-years-old. – JohnMale, age 20, South Dakota |
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It doesn't matter where you're from, the law is based on where the sex happens. |
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Dear Panel, I am a 16-year-old girl dating a 20-year-old guy. We met a few years ago and quickly became friends. Our friendship progressed into a strong love. We had sex when I was 15 and my parents found out. Can they press charges if I consented to the sex? – Christy Female, age 16, USA |
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Yes. |
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Dear Panel, I have been seeing a guy for about 4 months and everything seemed to be going perfect. Then all of a sudden he said that he wants to cool things and just be friends. He says that he loves me and still wants me as much as ever, but his previous commitments make him feel guilty about being with me. (2 kids and their mother). I don't want to throw in the towel. How do I make him realize that what we share is hard to find? I was thinking about doing the friend thing and appearing upbeat (even though my heart is broken) and hoping that he'll come around and realize what he has lost. I haven't seen him in about 2 weeks. What if I arrange an "accidental" meeting to show him what he's missing? Do you have any other suggestions? – Wanting Him Back
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Yes. Find someone who can carry his baggage AND take you with him. |
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Yeah. Give up. Quit investing when he's not investing. Take a hint and move on. |
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He's cooled off and there's nothing you can do to stoke the fire until HE'S ready. Decide if you want to wait for that, or if you should just move along. |
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He's damaged goods and it's best if you move on. |
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Dear Panel, What is love to you? Why do we feel love for others? – Wallace S. Male, age 22, Oklahoma |
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I could you give the complex chemical reasons for why we feel it, but I would probably lose my audience at the word Endorphin. |
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Dear Panel, My girlfriend and I have been going out for a while, but every time we get on the phone, most of what is said is, "what are you doing". We say this about 5-10 times, or just listen to each other breathing. Neither of us are good at starting conversations. Do you think you could help? – Gofogo Male, age 16, USA |
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Probably you don't suit each other. |
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Phoning less means more to say when you do talk! |
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Think of things to talk about before you call. |
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Argue about something silly. |
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Dear Panel, My best friend has just started dating one of my closest guy friends, someone I was falling in love with. Now they're together and it's difficult to act like it's all OK. Help! – Hiding Female, age 21, USA |
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You missed your window. Maybe you should look for more friends? |
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You only have to act like it's OK in public. And not even all the time. |
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Apparently she wasn't that good of a friend. Wish them well and move on. |
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Dear Panel, I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months. I broke it off with him because he was acting very distant. We still talk almost every night and he says he loves me and when he gets over this "phase" of needing some space, that we will get back together. I know that there is no other woman in the picture. Help! – I Need Him Female, age 19, Canada |
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Do you want him back? Do you think he will change? If the |
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I don't get it. He wants space, yet you are both talking almost every night? Sounds like this guy isn't ready to commit to ONE woman. You should drop him and find someone who knows exactly what he wants without having to go through "phases" to find it. |
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Dear Panel, My now ex-boyfriend and I have been dating on and off. We really love each other,but his mom hates me. She will do anything it takes her to make sure we don't get back together. Because of this, he is unsure whether to break his mom's rules. Right now, we act like a couple, but we have to do it behind his parents back. We have shared so much together and it hurts us both. Please tell me the best thing to do right now. I would really appreciate it. Thanks. – Rocky Relationship Female, age 15, USA |
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I think that he should talk to his mom! You don't get involved. |
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Secrets can't last forever, try fixing what she doesn't like. |
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Dear Panel, What specifically is considered first base, second base, and third base? – Amy Female, age 26, Northern USA |
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Kissing, touching above the waist and touching below the waist. |
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Dear Panel, There is a guy I like and I think he likes me. But my friends say he is just horny and wants me to sleep with him. He has a girlfriend. What should I do? – Melly Female, age 14, Northeast |
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Try being just friends. If he already has a girlfriend, then you can't be it, now can you? |
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Wait until he breaks up with the girl..and then just wait and see! |
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If that's all he wants, stay away. That's too dangerous. |
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Dear Panel, How do I decide if I should stay with my husband or leave him? – Scared Female, age 26, USA |
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Put a little more thought in it than this silly one liner implies. |
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Depends on the reason: if he's abusive, get out as quickly as you safely can; if it's because he does the crossword in the newspaper before you get a chance to look at it, or because he leaves his socks on the floor, you can probably work it out. |
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If you care, you should stay. If you don't care, you shouldn't. |
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Dear Panel, I'm 18, and he's 29. I'm completely heads over heels in love with this man. Is the age difference too great for this to work? – Not So Young Female, age 18, USA |
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In my experience, if you love each other then: No. |
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You can try it, see how it goes. |
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Age is not an issue. |
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Dear Panel, Is the saying "All successful romantic relationships are based on friendships" true? Please justify your answer. – The Inquiring Mind Female, age 18, Canada |
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Yes it is, because when the first few months of excitement fizzles out, you need to have a foundation friendship to keep you together. |
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Maybe. But I've had a bunch of unsuccessful relationships based on friendship. |
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No. But a good romantic relationship is a great friendship. |
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Dear Panel, I have just started dating a guy a month ago. I really like him and know him well because he was my friend before. He is a good kisser but like most guys, he tries to shove his tongue down my throat. How do you get your partner to kiss more gently (and show them it's just as good) without making them feel stupid? I would feel stupid if I was told I am doing something wrong. Is there anyway getting around this for the next time we kiss? – M.A. Female, age 20, Canada |
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Go to the zoo with him and visit the snakes. Tell him how creepy their tongues look and how you'd hate to kiss a snake. Maybe he'll get the message. |
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Make it a game: "Let's see how long we can kiss without tongues". Most guys like a challenge. Then you can tell him how much fun it was, and you like how he kisses without using his tongue. |
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Next time stop him and say, "here, let's try it my way"
and show |
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Bite? |
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Sorry, that's the last question. Read the 19 Snappy Answers again
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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