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Dear Panel, I would like to break up with my girlfriend because she's so selfish and insensitive. How will I do this without hurting her feelings? – D.F. Male, age 21, Philippines |
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If she's insensitive and selfish - I don't think she'll notice. |
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Dear Panel, I have gotten myself into quite a predicament. There's this guy who I like quite a bit who lives a few hours away from me. One of my best friends is his best friend. So that's the tie we have to each other. We met first one summer ago and he told me that I'm gorgeous and is always complimenting me. The catch is, he has a girlfriend. I like him so much. I have no idea if he has feelings for me. He is very loyal to his girlfriend but she treats him terribly. I am going to visit my friends where he lives again this summer and I will be seeing a lot of him. Without his girlfriend around. Should I tell him my feelings? I have tried to get over him, but I just can't. I'm in too deep. What on earth should I do? – Love Sick and Confused Female, age 17, USA |
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Tell him how you feel. If he likes you he will be happy to swap a bad relationship for a good one. |
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Let's back up.
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Dear Panel, Do you have any kind of chart or graph showing me how many people, both men and women, cheat, abuse and use others? Please help, it's homework. – Need to Know Female, age 14, USA |
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Boy, what an interesting assignment, and how creative of you to think of Love & Learn as a research source. But no, we don't do graphs. Just do a bar chart, and put the bar up over 75% for both, and you'll be generally correct. |
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Dear Panel, I am planning to marry this guy who I met on the net . We've not met in person. He is a very good fit in terms of values and personality etc. However when we spoke on phone I was not very comfortable. I have started rethinking the whole affair again, though I would not make a decision until I meet him. I am very confused, if I should meet him at all. Everybody tells me that there has to be some compromise and I should learn to do so for irrelevant matters. I am 29 and want to get married soon. Please advise. – Confused Soul Female, age 29, India |
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Personally I don't condone marrying anyone that that I haven't met and dated for a long time. This is not a traditional arrangement from what I can glean from your question, therefore I assume that your parents are not involved in this process and have not brokered with anyone. |
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You're comfortable talking to him on a PC monitor, but not on |
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Dear Panel, Should I have sex with my ex-boyfriend knowing both of us are virgins? – 2 Female, age 15, Virginia |
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Should I be stupid and answer your dumb question? |
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NO!! |
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Dear Panel, Please advise me on ways to earn trust, once the trust has been broken. We spent time apart and are trying to make it work again. – Anonymous Female, age 29, California |
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Stop lying. |
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Dear Panel, My husband and I both got drunk when out with friends. A girl kissed me and I kissed her back. This happened three times. At the time my husband was saying "do it, kiss her" but now days after he is accusing me of cheating. I don't know how or why this happened and I have vowed never to drink again because I can't stand the thought of what I did. Did I cheat or commit adultery? – Very Depressed Female, age 23, USA |
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Cheating...no. Adultry...no. Stupid drunken act...yes. |
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This happened because you were experimenting. Also because your husband is a jerk. |
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Dear Panel, How can I reattract a coworker who I have already turned down when he asked me out four months ago? I've changed my mind but do not know if he is still interested. – Paper Female, age 37, Canada |
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Gee, I don't know, maybe ask HIM out? Or are you too fickle for that too? |
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Dear Panel, I had been in a relationship with a girl for 4 years and been engaged for 2. She ended it 3 months ago and I was devastated, but was starting to get over it. But she still calls me and sends me emails saying she still loves me and can't see herself marrying anyone else, and if she saw me she couldn't stop herself from kissing me or getting all upset. She says all this even though she is with someone else. This is really confusing me. I don't know if she still wants me and if I should wait or move on. Moving on is hard to do with her telling me all these things. What should I do? – Alan Male, age 24, Ireland |
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If she REALLY loved you, she'd be with you no matter what. As hard as it is, ignore her. |
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Play it cool, and she'll come running back soon. |
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Let's see. She dumped you, she's with someone else, but she's sending you protestations of love. She's more confused than you are, and it would not be a productive use of your life to hang around waiting for her. Break off all contact with her, and move on. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend is always saying that he loves me more than anyone in the world and that he would die for me. How do I know if he is telling me the truth? – Heather Female, age 12, USA |
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Really, you don't want to test this one. Just consider it a nice expression of his feelings. |
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Trust me, he doesn't. All 12-year-olds say that. |
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Dear Panel, I have cheated on this man named Jonathan. Actually, I don't think it is cheating because he broke up with me and then messed with my head and my heart until it pushed as far as being with another man. After I did this he came back in my life and now is confusing me even more again because one minute he wants to be with me and the next he doesn't he thinks that it is OK since I hurt him by being the other guy. I can't take this too much anymore. I just want to be with the man and he just says I have to wait for him to make up his mind because he does really love and like me but since I did that with the guy he isn't sure yet. On to my questions! Should I hang in there and wait or just move on? Another question is how can I get him back? I really do love him with all my heart and wish he would just stop being stubborn so I need some solutions to help me get him back. Thank you for you time, – Tiffany Female, age 18, USA |
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He's a jerk...You know what to do, but whether you do it or not is up to you. |
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Boy, talk about messing with your head! Since you are confused, here is the real skinny.
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Dear Panel, How do I get my boyfriend to keep up with my ravenous sex drive? – R. Female, age 31, USA |
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Is he 18? |
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Get some toys and lots o' batteries. Fun for everyone and they keep going, and going and going.... |
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Girl, I am working on the same thing. If I only knew. |
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Dear Panel, I met a good friend when I moved to a different floor in my dorm. His girlfriend had broken up with him two weeks before we met and he's still seriously depressed about it two months later. Now we've got this "friends with benefits" situation going on, and I know if I give him the summer to get past this bad phase in his life, we could have something remarkable. Should I even bother mentioning a relationship for when he comes back in the fall semester? Or is it best to wait until then? – Anya Female, age 21, Alaska |
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Welcome to reboundsville.....population....you. |
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What are you waiting for really?!? Suck it up and do it! |
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Unless you're psychic, wait. You never know what can happen over the summer. |
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Dear Panel, I am a 20-year-old male, who is currently dating a 15-year-old girl. We've been together for four months now, and things are great. But every now and then I can't stop thinking about our age difference. We're not having sex, so I know we're not breaking any laws. But I still can't stop thinking about her age. What should I do? – BBL Male, age 20, New Jersey |
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Either stop thinking about her age, or stop dating her. |
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Stop thinking about her age and start thinking about girls your own age. |
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Dear Panel, Can I get pregnant if I'm still a virgin? I'm scared because my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I didn't have anything on and he had his clothes on. Then he came. I'm scared. I didn't loose my virginity yet. – Ink Female, age 18, Europe |
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As long as he had his clothes on, I'm sure you'll be all right. |
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Dear Panel, Last night my boyfriend put his dick inside of me, like a couple of millimeters. I know he didn't break the lining. And he didn't ejaculate, but I don't know if I am pregnant or not, or even if I am a virgin!? Please help me! I am only 15. I've made a huge mistake! – Courtney Female, age 15, America |
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Pregnant: not likely. Virgin: not really. |
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You can be whatever you decide. Since you didn't have sex, I would say that your still a virgin. But that's just my own opinion. You won't be pregnant, if he didn't ejaculate in you. So stop worrying, but be more cautious! |
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If your boyfriend was wearing a condom, you should be safe. One night is too soon to tell, but if you're really worried, call your local Planned Parenthood. They can help you find out if you are or not. And yes, you did make a mistake: 15 is too young. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't risk getting pregnant this young and completely altering your life. |
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Morticia Responds:I don't think Kristea's answer should have been published. |
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Dear Panel, I have been talking to a guy on the Internet for over 3 months now, and I think I may have fallen in love with him. The problem is, he lives in London and I'm in the Westmidlands. I have children which he doesn't seem to have a problem with. We have not yet met, which makes this whole thing very weird. We are going to meet some time in June. We have booked a hotel and chosen the place where we are going to meet. He has feelings for me but I'm not quite sure how strong they are. Do you think I should try and make a go at a relationship with him? It would be long distance for a while. I have never felt this way about anybody before. He makes me feel special and loved. – Lovelygal Female, age 23, UK |
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Give it a try (we live only once), but be careful. |
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He is probably a she with a wooden leg! |
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Sorry, that's the last question. Read the 18 Snappy Answers again
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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