Dear Panel,

I'm a 18-year-old girl and have never had any boyfriend before. I've never thought too much about this.

However, recently I find myself longing for one. The problem is I don't know where to find one and I've no interest in the guys that I know. What should I do?

– Desperado

Female, age 18, Singapore

Now that you're 18, you can start going to clubs and meeting new people. While you're at school, the guys are rather limited. Simply expand your horizons.

Stop thinking of a boyfriend as something you acquire like a new pair of shoes at a store.

Get out, have some fun, and stop waiting for one. One will just fall into your lap eventually. Oh yeah, and if you wink and smile that helps too.

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Dear Panel,

Is casual sex a bad thing for your first time?!

– Me

Female, age 16, USA

If you want your first time to be special in a positive way, casual sex is probably not the way to go. It also can set the tone for the rest of your life...

First time sex hurts. Casual sex isn't a good idea.

Try to make it special all the time.

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Dear Panel,

I have recently developed a crush on a man who I work with. He and I have much in common. From what I can tell we are basically both nuts. He is very flirtatious and recently began lending me books and cd's, some of which have questionable material in them, but that doesn't bother me.

The part that is bothering me, is that nothing further is coming from whatever it is you would call this. My co-workers all tell me it seems as if this guy really likes me.

But he has my telephone number. If he did like me, wouldn't he have done something by now?

– Popeye12

Female, age 26, California

Hey, how can I know what someone who's nuts will do next?

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Dear Panel,

If I trust a guy should I let him finger me? Hurry, because I need an answer ASAP.

Female, age 24, America

Where's the fire?

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Dear Panel,

It seems like I can't do anything right in my relationship.

I really like him but I feel like maybe I am being selfish to expect that he would want to keep getting back with me. Should I just let him go or keep trying?

I don't want to let go because I know that he could make me a better person and also I can so see a future but that is only if I can not do what I have been doing.

So what should I do?

– Alyssa

Female, age 17, California

Ask him how he feels about it first.

If you have tried and tried, chances are you will just keep going the
same way. Your motives are selfish - you want him to make YOU a better person. You need to think about HIM for once, and let him go.

Personally, I am on my 3rd chance and its going great at last. But If
something goes wrong again, I am not going to give it a next time, because I need to think about my boyfriends feelings, too.

If you're in pain, leave him.

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Dear Panel,

The girl I think, is just cheating on me like wildfire. She talks about boys coming over her house all the time. I think they be having sex.

What should I do?

– Bubble Guts

Male, age 14, North Carolina

What every normal self-respecting person would do: Break up.

Confront her, then break up if its true.

You could try going over to her house yourself and see what happens.

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Dear Panel,

I've been a relationship for 2.5 years with a now 20-year-old woman. Everything in the relationship points to love, except we lean too hard on each other for emotional support.

We end up, in a way, hiding behind each other when things get tough. Our personal lives are going nowhere. We've decided to take a "break" to get ourselves together.

We still love each other very much. Is this the best? Is this common?

– Love Too Much

Male, age 26, California

It is the best thing to do. And it is common. But I think you already knew that.

You can lean on someone for a little while, but in the end, we must rely on our own legs to carry us.

Just make sure you make time for your friends and everything will be alright!

Is "hiding behind each other" like relying on each other? That's not common, that's the ideal. And if your "personal lives" means dating others, yes, take a break!

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Dear Panel,

My wife has passed and now I find myself having deep feelings for her sister. Her sister is divorced from her husband.

Do I let her know my feelings or am I taking a chance of upsetting her and losing the friendship I have with her and she has with my children?

– Vic

Male, age 44, USA

Why don't you see if she'd like to go with you to a movie first.

The squeaky wheel gets the sister. Life is short. Go for it.

Be honest, and ask! See what she says. Good luck!

See Also:
Do I tell my dead wife's sister that I love her?

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Dear Panel,

Do you think a relationship can last if the girl does not get along with the guys family at all?

– Babygyrl

Female, age 17, Minnesota

NO.

Not unless the guy is willing to give up all contact with his family forever and not regret it.

Depends on the guy, the girl and their maturity level. My guess, however is: no.

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Dear Panel,

Lately my boyfriend has been talking about this other girl. I have never met her or talked to her. Here is the thing, a couple of days ago she called him on his cell while we were at his house. He talked to her for a while and then hung up.

I asked who it was and he automatically said "What, you don't trust me?" and then I asked him if he is cheating and he said again "What, you don't trust me?".

I was wondering if there is anyway of finding out if he is cheating or not?

– Lil K

Female, age 18, USA

What, you don't trust him?

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Dear Panel,

I'm a 20-year-old female. I've been seeing this guy for like 7 months now. He's married, and has a 3-year-old daughter.

He says he loves me and I believe him. He plans on leaving his wife after she gets her degree. He doesn't hate her. He's just not in love with her anymore.

He said he plans on marring me. I believe him. I have looked at the whole "That's what they all say" thing and I still don't think he is just saying it.

Aren't there some men who leave there wife's for another woman and they live happily ever after? What do you think? Thank you!

– Lost In Love

Female, age 20, USA

A man who'll walk out on a marriage with a three-year-old...Not worth
marrying!

If he does leave his wife and marry you... I'd be worried about another woman eventually writing this exact same letter about you.

You shouldn't be dating a married man. Where are your morals?

Sorry, that's the last question.

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