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| Dear Panel, My ex and I are very close friends, but every time we meet up whether it be in a group or just me and him on our own we always have sex. When we ended the relationship (about 2 months ago) we decided it was for the best because we were better friends than we where lovers. The thing is I now want to start a relationship with his friend. I have asked my ex if it was OK to ask his friend out and he said it was fine but once I started to flirt with him my ex became jealous and started to flirt with me. The next thing I'm going home with my ex and leaving the man I want behind. Please could you tell me what is happening with me and my ex and should I try again to get with his friend and become straight friends with my ex? – Taz Female, age 21, England |
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Just say "no" to Ex Sex. Don't give up something that could be great for a familiar fling. |
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Date someone outside the circle or you'll just be passed around. |
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Hook your ex up with one of your girlfriends. |
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| Dear Panel, I am 21, female and in love with my female college professor. She is 28. How can a begin a relationship with her? – Lezl Female, age 21, California |
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| She's your college professor. Sadly, there are probably rules preventing this. |
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Wait until the term is over, ask her to have drinks and go in for the kill! |
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| Dear Panel, I have had sex with my girlfriend for once, and didn't have protection. Would that mean that she would be possibly have my baby? – DrEaMwOrKz_BoI Male, age 15, USA |
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I am not gonna tell you that your were stupid because you already know. But to answer your question, yes, she might be pregnant. Get a pregnancy test to find out. |
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Yes. And it also means that you're dumber than mud
if you do it again before you realize all your responsibilities involved
with this. |
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You betcha! Scary thought, huh? Someone to feed, clothe, and support before you're even old enough to drink legally! Sweat this one out, and never, ever have sex without lots of protection until you're really ready to be a father for life. |
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| Dear Panel, I lied to my ex-boyfriend about being a virgin. I said that I was a virgin when I really wasn't. We had sex and broke up. Now were starting to hang out together again but he keeps asking me if I was a virgin when we first were together. I keep lying and saying I was but I'm afraid if we hook up again I'll regret lying to him. – ConfusedFemale, age 18, Texas |
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You're probably right. |
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Just keep it to yourself. |
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| Dear Panel, I knew this girl (same age) for about a year now. At school I decided to go up to a group of people and I found all of them as friend. In that group there was the girl I like. I started to like her when I first met her and was scared to talk to her for around 7 months. Then a friend found out I liked her and so on. He got me to ask her out (through e-mail) and her reply was she is not ready. So I have been waiting for around 4 months. I have found myself in love with her, at least I think it is love. I always think about her. I plan things for the whole group to do so I can be around her. Since there is no school right now this is my only way to be with her. About 1 week ago I finally told her I fell in love with her (through e-mail) and she gave me no reply. Then at the most recent group function that was 2 days ago (a dinner show) she acted like I didn't say a thing. She just doesn't show any reaction to my love for her. I don't know what to do. Should I do something else to help me get to go to an actual date with her (just me and her), or should I just give up? – Andy Male, age 17, Florida |
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It's not love. Go play some basketball. |
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Umm..does the word obsessive come to mind? You need to slow down. You are obviously scaring this girl away! You asked her out once, so she knows that you like her. If she wants a relationship, she will start giving you signs or ask you out. At the moment it sounds like she doesn't want a relationship - maybe she isn't ready, who knows - but you need to start respecting that, regardless of your feelings, because you may end up losing any chances with her if you continue to push things. |
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Whoa! I think you're scaring her. Don't be so aggressive about
how you feel. |
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| Dear Panel, How do I know if he is over me or not? – Jessica Female, age 18, USA |
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Look up and see if he's there. |
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Why wait give him that much control? Take some initiative, and get over HIM! |
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| Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have been together for close to five years. Last year we took a break for almost a year then decided to get back together. It has been ten months now since we have been back. I am just finding out now that he cheated on me the first time around and am having a very hard time with it. He says that it was a whole different time and that our relationship is good now. I have a hard time thinking that if he didn't tell me the first time what makes me think he will tell me if he does it this time. I had to trick him into telling me about the past, it is not something I believe he would have told me on his own. What should I do? – Hard to Trust Female, age 27, Canada |
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Drop the bozo and invest in a dog. |
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I hope you're having a hard time with the cheating.
It's not a nice thing to do. My suggestion: have a hard time with
the whole relationship and get out. Find someone faithful, first or
second or third time around. |
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I'd need to know more, first. Did he sleep with someone else, or something less severe? Was it in the first few months of the relationship, or close to when you "took a break?" How did you "trick" him into admitting it? To give a good answer, I'd need to know all this. |
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| Dear Panel, My boyfriend's best friend happens to be a girl who he used to "fool around" with. They never had sex but they always had oral. Isn't oral sex more intimate than sex? Am I making a big deal, or do I have a valid point? – Jealous1 Female, age 21, USA |
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You've got a more valid point if they're still having oral sex. |
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How intimate is a mouth on your genitals? No, it's not a big deal as long as they stopped. |
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| Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years (we're both 18) and we have been having sex since we first got together. He has been the only guy to give me an orgasm actually during intercourse. But that has only happened around 3 or 4 times, in the beginning of the relationship. We have sex regularly and usually before sex he gives me oral, and I can have an orgasm every time, but just not during intercourse! This really frustrates me because I love him very much, and he knows how to turn me on very much and I get aroused by him, just no "O" during the actually intercourse. I don't want to tell him this, because I know how he is, and I know it would hurt him a lot to find this out now after 3 years now. Is something wrong with me? Is it just him? Is there anything I can do to make sex better (for me)? – Faking the Big "O" Female, age 18, USA |
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It's normal. Tell him. Work on it. In a fun way. |
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| Dear Panel, I am 16 (17 in one month and 5 days) and the guy that I am in love with is 37. He and I feel the same way about each other and have for the last year and a half. My question to you is, should we continue to be together even though society doesn't approve of our relationship? – Confused & In Love Female, age 16, North Carolina |
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Sorry, I'm part of society here. And the real world. |
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In my opinion, no. He's old enough to be your father. Look for someone closer to your age. |
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Sure, just wait 13 months and five days until you're "together" again. |
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| Dear Panel, I broke up with my girlfriend about a week ago and now I'm trying to get back with her. I actually called her back 2 days after I dumped her and I told her I wanted to get back. Only problem, she said I have to prove myself back to her and win her back, because she ain't like these girls you dump anytime you want and come around any time you want. I've try sending flowers, talking to her, trying to show her how much I care about her, but so far it hasn't been working and she don't even wanna see me. She only speaks to me on the phone. I need help on that guys. – Desperado Male, age 26, New York |
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Would you care at all to tell us why you broke up in the first place? |
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| Dear Panel, I'm not sure if losing my virginity is the right thing to do in this situation. I've never felt this way about anyone before, I really think it love, he is the perfect guy in every aspect, we've been dating for 7 months. He hasn't put any pressure on me or anything, it would be his first time too. We've talked about it a lot and know that we both want it to be special and our prom would be the perfect place and we know that there's no one else we'd rather share the moment with. The problem is that our parents don't know about us because we are from very strict families. And if I get pregnant, it'll ruin both our lives. Even on the off chance of that 3% nothing is guaranteed with protection. I guess that's my biggest barrier. I've thought about every possible outcome and I can't picture any other bad outcomes. – A Ready Virgin Female, age 16, Hong Kong |
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If you're that unsure, you're not ready. |
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Get unready. Get smart. Heavy petting is 100% pregnancy-free. |
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The only way to guarantee not getting pregnant is not to have sex. However, to live a little, we all have to take this risk. Use protection. Discuss it with your families, and don't be ashamed of your relationship. |
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| Dear Panel, Is it bad that I have sexual fantasies about my step sister? I really like, I just don't know how to show. Do you have any suggestions how to show it? Why am I having sexual fantasies? – Anonymous Female, age 13, Oregon |
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Bad, Bad, BAD! |
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It's normal. These feelings will pass in time. Keep them inside. |
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You're having them because you're 13 and you're a guy. Keep them to yourself, and treat your step sister like a sister. |
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Sorry, that's the last question. Read the 14 Snappy Answers again
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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