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| Dear Panel, I had sex with my boyfriend but on the clothes. I'm afraid I lost my virginity because it was painful and I'm afraid of pregnancy. – Hena Female, age 21, Africa |
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Did you use full-body condoms? |
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If there was no penetration, by most definitions you're still a virgin. |
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| Dear Panel, I got curious about an unzipped small bag by the bed my live-in boyfriend and I share. Seems there are three small pictures of his ex-wife in there (they have been divorced 1.5 years). I feel I can not ask why he keeps them so close to him since I was snooping. How should I cope with this situation? – Chick In Texas Female, age 28, USA |
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| It's a piece of his history. Let him keep them (if they're not dirty pics). |
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Curiosity killed the cat. I still have photos of my ex wife! That doesn't mean anything. |
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Ask him what's in the unzipped small bag that's so close to your bed. |
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| Dear Panel, I have been with this guy over 10 years. He cheated on me a few months ago and I left him. We still talk and his excuse was that he was on drugs and didn't know what he was doing. He is now at a place to clean him up and calls me asking me to wait for him. I don't know if I still love him, how do you tell? – Kris Female, age 49, USA |
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You can tell by dating other people who do not use drugs, and see if you can love them before this guy gets out. |
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When he's clean, tell him you want to start "slow",
as friends. If he |
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Don't punish yourself further. MOVE ON. |
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| Dear Panel, Is there anything I should be worried about if my long time boyfriend wants to start having more female friends? My boyfriend and I have been together just about 7 years. We're both young, I'm 24 and next week he'll be 23. So, I am his first relationship. Well, now he's beginning to change and be more independent, for example, he doesn't want to see me all the time like he used to which is fine with me. Anyway, we had big problems over the past year or so, but we seem to be getting through them OK. – E-DubFemale, age 24, USA |
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You both should have friends. Get some. |
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Friends come in all genders. Normally, girlfriends
get to meet and hang out (occasionally) with the boyfriend's friends.
Your fears will be put to rest if you all get together occasionally.
You'll either see there's nothing to worry about, or you'll see you're
losing him to her. |
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You HAVE had the poor boy tied down since he was 16! Let
him be HIS OWN person. |
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My motto is: you can trust somebody, but not 100%.
Always keep your guard up! |
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It's all cool providing he still treats you well. |
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| Dear Panel, I just ended a month relationship due to the fact that he told me he was moving out of state this September. I did not want to take the risk and get my heart in pain. I was not included in his plans. I just didn't see any point in moving. Did I do the right thing? You have to know that I'm modern with education and work but at home I'm very traditional. – Compassionate One Female, age 32, Texas |
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I guess it depends on how much was right during the last month
& how sure you are that his plans do not include you. |
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You gave the right amount of return on one month's investment. |
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| Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and we're having trouble cause I'm not 18 yet and can't stay the night with him and do the fun stuff that serious couples do. And my family doesn't really like his attitude ( by the way..he's 23) and it's causing some trouble between us. I love him a lot and want to get through this together. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can work this out? I would really appreciate it. – KDV Female, age 17, Ohio |
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I don't like his attitude either. If he can't abide, leave him aside. |
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For now, listen to your parents. If the guy is true and loves you, he'll cool down and stick by you. |
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| Dear Panel, Why am I so jealous of their friendship? My husband is friends with a girl we both know (I used to work with her husband) and they are constantly talking on his phone (cell). She talks to me but much more to him. He says there is nothing going on and so does she and after some digging I really don't think there is. But I DO think she has a crush on him. She just left her husband this past weekend. She is a nice person. I just don't know why I can't get past this. – Unreasonably Jealous Female, age 27, USA |
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Because you're smart. Beware of those who are on the rebound. |
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You said it yourself: You're unreasonably jealous.
If you can't figure out why, you could probably benefit from some
professional therapy. |
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Your jealousy MAY be justified. But unfortunately
there is nothing that you can do about it. You just have to trust
your husband. |
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| Dear Panel, I was seeing this guy and everything was going good. He left my house one morning and said 'I love you and I will see you later'. I talked to him later that day and everything still seemed fine. Then the next couple of days he avoided me. It's been about two months since we stop talking. His brother told me that they were talking and he said that he messed up and he should call me and talk to me and say that he is sorry. What does this mean? – Tiny23 Female, age 22, USA |
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Time to find another guy. |
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| Dear Panel, I am seeing a man who is 20 years older. He came into the place I work and we hit it off. Right in the beginning he told me about his two year relationship Joan. He told me they met and she went after him for a year. He says he has never loved this women and there is no intimacy between them. We have been planning to continue our relationship but I find it hard that Joan is still in the picture. She will not let him go, stating that she loves him. I know the best thing would be to move on and if he is true to his feeling he will do what is right. What do you think? – Merry Female, age 40, USA |
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Go with your instincts. They are usually right. |
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| Dear Panel, I am so fed up of being single. How can I make a boy like me? Pleeeeease help! – AJ Female, age 14, UK |
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| You can't make somebody like you. The time will come. |
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| Dear Panel, I love a boy. He tried to kiss me but I turned my head away. I'm not sure if he still loves me. A week a go I told him my feelings but now he pretends that he doesn't know me anymore. What do I have to do? – Heartpain Female, age 16, Belgium |
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You have to quit using the word "love" when
you describe a situation that has nothing to do with it. Try "animal
attraction" or "deep lust" or "mutual admiration"
or "teenage heat". And then we'll talk more. |
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Go kiss his cute friend, then you get to watch em' fight.. |
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Find a way to make it up to him after making him feel humiliated and rejected. A question- if you like this guy, why didn't you kiss him? Think about it. |
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Kiss him. |
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| Dear Panel, This guy loves me and I guess I kinda feel the same way. The problem is his parents and grandparents. They don't like me and I don't know why. I am not a bad person. I go to church, youth group. What should I do? Please help me! – Alice Female, age 17, Texas |
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Sometimes you can't please everyone so you gotta please yourself. And the guy who loves you. |
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Ask him to talk to his parents and find out why. are there any age/religion/culture differences? |
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ADVICE FROM SOMEONE MARRIED 30 YEARS: Forget him! |
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| Dear Panel, Last night I was with my friend. He knows about the guy I have been dating for 2 months now and he asked me last night if the guy popped my cherry yet. I said 'no'. Can you give me more information about popping my cherry? – Maria Female, age 16 |
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Popping your cherry simply means having sex! If you need information on sex, then hopefully you were telling the truth when you answered "no". |
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Sorry, that's the last question. Read the 14 Snappy Answers again
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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